Chapter 160: You're gone, again

He Yu stood frozen in place.

He thought that he had heard wrong.

"What did you say?"

"......"

But before Xie Qingcheng could say another word, He Yu immediately interrupted him again, and then, as if to avoid something, stammered, "No, no, no, no ...... you, you wait a moment first ...... "

"There's still Szechuan Bay Pear stewing in the pot, I'll go get it for you ...... me ......"

It's as if a cup of sorbet can change everything.

The teenager turned, trying to run towards the kitchen, as if it was his shell and he could escape into it without being stabbed by any sharp object.

But Xie Qingcheng's voice came and froze him in his tracks.

"No need, He Yu."

"......"

"I should get back."

Xie Qingcheng and He Yu slept together many times, woke up many times, and turned their backs on each other.

Only this time, when he was killing He Yu, he also wounded himself severely.

Every word that came out of his throat was a thorn in his heart, so much so that Xie Qingcheng's body, which was already very sick and only holding on, was shaking slightly.

But He Yu can't see it.

After he heard Xie Qingcheng say such resolute words, he could not restrain himself from shedding tears, and now that his face was streaked with tears, he did not dare to turn back.

He thinks Xie Qingcheng is bullying him again.

Xie Qingcheng Every time you use him up, you don't want him, and you say anything harsh outwardly.

He didn't know what he hadn't done well, he had obviously tried very hard, like simmering the ice-sugar pear in the pot, simmering and stewing all of his feelings, trying to make it as easy to digest as possible, and then apprehensively holding it to that man.

But Xie Qingcheng says it's over.

He could never like him.

He Yu turned his back to Xie Qingcheng and opened his mouth; for the first time, he couldn't make a sound, and it wasn't until the second time that he found his voice.

Raspy as hell.

"...... you, you eat the ...... pear first, we'll talk about all this, OK?"

"........."

He Yu all choked up, "You eat a little ...... you eat a little ...... okay? ...... I've been studying for a long time ......"

I've been studying for a long time.

I would have, not been able to do housework, not been able to peel fruit, and not known how to use the ice sugar and Sichuan shellfish stewed with snow pears.

I would not, originally, have been so humble as to love any man.

Wouldn't take care of someone with such dedication.

Now I know all about it.

I've been studying for a long time, Xie Qingcheng.

Just take a taste.

Just take a look at me.

He Yu's fingers are still wrapped in band-aids, and he cut his hand while peeling a pear and it bled. But he didn't care at the time, he only thought that when Xie Qingcheng woke up, he could bring him a bowl of steaming pear cream.

But Xie Qingcheng woke up, and Xie Qingcheng said he didn't want him.

He Yu's tears kept falling, he cried so sadly, but suppressed his voice, how could he not let Xie Qingcheng hear, and did not want to turn back to let Xie Qingcheng see.

He finally walked into the kitchen with his head down, slamming the door behind him.

On the kitchen counter, there was also granulated sugar, chunks of sorbet, and a knife for cutting fruit.

He Yu packed up those things little by little, and while doing so, he silently shed tears.

This apartment, in fact, had never had a fire since he got the key. He used to come and stay by himself and was always too lazy to cook, either going out to eat or having the hotel chef make it and send it to the mansion.

It was the first time he opened fire here for someone, turning an "apartment" into a "home".

But I didn't expect it to end like this.

He Yu suppressed his sobs and stood in the kitchen for a long time, trying to calm himself down, and finally washed his face again so that Xie Qingcheng wouldn't see that he had shed tears.

I don't know how long it took, but the kitchen door was pushed open.

Xie Qingcheng stood outside the door, having changed his clothes. He said to him, "He Yu."

"......"

"I'm not making this decision because I think there's anything wrong with you."

"......"

"And because of myself. I really can't take a man's liking."

He Yu stood helplessly by the sink with his eyes downcast, "Is ...... gender ...... that important to you?"

He raised his eyes.

Xie Qingcheng still knew in the first instant that the child ...... had cried.

Those eyes were moist, flushed with some red, and they just looked at him.

"Xie Qingcheng, are these that important?"

"......"

"It's more important than being genuine, isn't it?"

Xie Qingcheng could not answer.

What could he say? He couldn't say, "I'm sorry, He Yu, I didn't resent you for being a man, in fact, it's because I don't have long to live, and I've realized again that I can't change your feelings for me at all, that's why I have to go through with this, and I hope that you won't waste all your youth on me.

He Yu was quiet for a moment, watching the small fire of pear jelly rolling on the stovetop.

He had been holding back, and suddenly this moment was too much.

He looked back at Xie Qingcheng, his voice trembling slightly because of his sadness, "Do you know what Xie Qingcheng?It is impossible for you to find a second person in this world who loves you as much as I do."

Xie Qingcheng watched him for a long time, and he was tempted in this moment to reach out his arms to comfort this clumsy, wretched, humble, yet also haughty young dragon.

This feeling he has for He Yu has gone from initial shock, to questioning, and then from questioning again, to being heartbroken today.

When Xie Qingcheng and Li Ruoqiu divorced, they said they had never seen and would never believe in the kind of love that flies like a moth to a flame, no matter what.

It was He Yu who showed him.

The more clearly he saw this love, the more his heart ached. He Yu was like a puppy he had accidentally seen on the road, and because he felt so sorry for it, he had casually thrown some food to it. He had only wanted to maintain such a simple relationship, and had never thought of adopting the puppy or establishing any unnecessary intimacy with it.

But that's not what the puppy thinks.

It waited dutifully for him in that spot every day, and when it saw him it would happily run over and rub itself around his legs; it had inadvertently been tamed by him - but he knew that he would never again walk this way before long, that it would never again wait for the man who was passing by.

What choice did he have but to never feed it anything again, or even pretend he couldn't see it?

However the puppy didn't know that, the puppy whimpered and chased after him, wondering why he suddenly ignored him, was he too dirty? Or was it too ugly? Or was it because it was a little sick dog? So he would always just feed it a few bites, but wouldn't hug it and couldn't like it.

Xie Qingcheng eventually dropped his hand.

He didn't give He Yu that hug.

He said, "I know I'm not likely to meet another person that likes me as much as you do."

He Yu's eyes widened slightly, some faint hope flickering in them.

Xie Qingcheng did not deny his feelings.

After experiencing the parting of a teenager at the age of fourteen, Xie Qingcheng knew that he should not deny any of He Yu's sincerity. This was the last respect and protection he could give to He Yu.

"He Yu, I'm already thirty-three, I've been married and divorced, I've dated many times and met countless people." Xie Qingcheng leaned against the warm stove, weakly, quietly, almost gently, and He Yu spoke from his heart, "In fact, my condition is not too good, I'm old, my body is not good, I don't know how to get along, I'm busy with my work, and I can't give too much fulfillment to other people. I know myself."

He Yu's tears were about to fall again as he shook his head.

Xie Qingcheng is a man who almost never belittles himself.

He's confident and strong.

But at this moment, Xie Qingcheng was in front of him, almost sighing as he spelled out his own shabbiness, and that look of watching him soberly and calmly admit how bad he was actually hurt more than Xie Qingcheng's rejection of him.

He Yu chokes out, "No. ......"

"What I said is the truth." Xie Qingcheng was very calm, in the face of someone who treated him with sincerity like this, he could also show him his own mess, "In fact, I know that the most suitable end for someone like me is to grow old alone - I know that I look okay, and will attract the likes of I know I'm not bad looking and will attract the likes of some girls, but like and love are different, and love and true love are different. After I divorced Li Ruoqiu, I was already dead in the water and thought I would never get another true love."

"But you gave me your feelings."

"He Yu, I'm sorry that I didn't believe from the beginning that you really loved me. Because you were just too young and a boy, I cleverly assumed that you had mistaken your feelings, and even tried to guide you so that you would admit that it was just a dependency." Xie Qingcheng paused for a moment and coughed softly before continuing, "I know I broke your heart."

"Shea ......"

"Just hear me out." Xie Qingcheng Lips are light colored, more than a little sickly white at the moment, "...... I know you are the best, you are the best for me. You're almost ripping out your own heart to show me, trying to make me understand your feelings."

"I've seen it all now. He Yu. I've got it all figured out."

The Kid really couldn't help himself this time, the moisture in his eyes grew heavier and heavier, he turned his head to the side and paused for a moment, still lifting his hand to wipe his own eyes.

He was really too aggravated.

That feeling of being constantly denied, constantly suppressed, constantly misunderstood, and one day finally recognized, as long as those who have experienced it, may be able to understand the sour bitterness that springs to mind at that moment instead.

"It was my bad. I was too smug, thinking I was older than you and knew more than you, and I was the one who didn't respect your feelings."

He Yu reddened his almond eyes and whispered, "Thank you brother ......"

Xie Qingcheng: "He Yu, I have never met anyone who liked me as much as you do. I know I will never meet another person who likes me as much as you do. You have given me many irreplaceable memories and feelings."

"......"

"I appreciate it."

"......"

"Really."

Xie Qingcheng said, sighing softly.

He closed his eyes, the knot in his throat rolling.

The apologies that should be made and the acknowledgements that should be given, he finally gave them all to He Yu.

The rest of what follows is cruelty that must be spoken.

He said all the warmth in his heart, and his chest was about to ice blockade the city ...... He slowly opened his eyes and said to He Yu, "But I still can t accept you. I can't."

He Yu : "You, why are you ......"

"Because I feel guilty, I feel so guilty about myself when I'm with you, I feel like all the things I did, all the things we did last night ...... were ...... too immoral, too counterintuitive. It all too shouldn't have happened." Xie Qingcheng forced himself to say all these words, "Can ...... you think about what you were doing when I was twenty? I was twenty and you were only seven. The first time I met you, you were so small, just a kid at all. When I was in high school, you were just born ......The further I think about it, the more ridiculous I think it is ......We'd be the butt of other people's jokes if we were together, do you understand?"

He Yu, however, looked at him with red eyes and shook his head, "I don't understand."

"......"

"Why should you care about anyone else when we're both together? I could care less about anything, it doesn't matter what people say about me."

"He Yu ...... you shouldn't have to suffer like that, that feeling of constantly being talked about is painful, you can't ......"

"I'm not afraid." He Yu said, "And you've always suffered from those things. You've been suffering from it since the moment you left the hospital. And why shouldn't I suffer?"

"......"

"I know you're afraid that I'll be hurt in the same way, that people will laugh at me for liking a man of my uncle's generation ...... But I don't care about them at all! I don't even care what I look like in other people's mouths because I know I'm not! I'm just in love with someone, and I'm not going to change no matter how much people naysay me."

The boy's look was stubborn, his eyes so fixed.

"I don't care about them, I don't care about their eyes their mouths, Xie Qingcheng, I don't care about anyone in the world, except you."

"......"

The door to Xie Qingcheng's heart was trying its best to seal, but He Yu tried to break in time and time again, trying to stop the door to the ice city from closing with his flesh and blood before then.

Xie Qingcheng heart even more difficult.

If I'm in hell, will you come too?

Come the sea of fire can be turned into a river of stars, and the mountain of swords into a fragrant forest? ......

He closed his eyes and said, "But I care."

He Yu: "......"

"I can't stand screwing my sister's students."

Unwilling to die, He Yu said, madly, "If you must care, then, I can drop out."

"...... It doesn't help that you dropped out of school, I can't stand being with a boy who's thirteen years younger than me."

"Then I can figure out how to change my ID."

"I can't stand being with your father either - with He Jiwei's son."

He Yu is getting more and more anxious: "Then I-- then I--"

Xie Qingcheng raised his hand and gently touched He Yu's head. He didn't let He Yu say the second half of the sentence, Xie Qingcheng knew that every word he said seemed crazy, but it was true. He said to He Yu, "I understand all your sincerity, but ...... I am sorry."

"......"

"This is my final decision."

Xie Qingcheng felt that he could not face He Yu in this way anymore, he put his hand down and wanted to say something more, but in the end he did not say it, he turned around - and will leave ......

It was also in this moment.

He Yu chased after him and hugged him from behind.

The hot tears that the teenager had been holding back fell on the back of Xie Qingcheng's neck, on the vermilion sand mole, stood still for a few seconds, and then slipped down.

"Shea ......"

"......"

"Dr. Shea ......"

"......"

"Xie Qingcheng ......!!!"

"Are you leaving me again ......" He Yu's voice held a more than obvious choke, "Are you leaving me again ......? "

It was a cloudy day, and the light seemed so faint that it poured in through the heavy windowpanes, but there was no warmth at all. That thin silver like frost light in He Yu and Xie Qingcheng figure edge gently outline a side, fragile like the early spring branches of the dew condensation ice, fingertip touch will melt.

Xie Qingcheng was tightly embraced by him from behind, behind him is hot, the back of the neck is hot, the kitchen steam fog is hot, the teenager's heart, the teenager's tears, the teenager for him clumsily boiled a cup of pear sweet soup, are all hot.

His heart couldn't condense in such a temperature, oceanic as it was, and it actually blurred his own vision.

"Don't don't want me OK, Xie Qingcheng ...... you don't don't want me ......"

"......"

"I can't love anyone else anymore, I give you my heart already, don't go ...... Xie Qingcheng ......"

"Don't you go ......"

Xie Qingcheng wanted to hug him back more than ever.

But he knew more than ever that if he hugged him today, there would be no turning back, and the moment he died of organ failure, He Yu would suffer even more than he did now.

The little puppy on the side of the road chased the human, not understanding why the human stopped looking at him, why he didn't stop anymore, he broke his heart, and that whimpering sound burrowed deep into the human's heart.

Ouch.

It really hurts.

Xie Qingcheng closed his eyes, and at the end of the Canglong's eyes, a tear actually ended up falling - it was the last drop of warmth before his heart city fell into the ice.

Tears fell to the ground without He Yu realizing it.

Xie Qingcheng said nothing more as he raised his slightly cool hand and gently patted He Yu's arm around his waist. Then - still breaking away from his warmth - he pushed the door open and walked out onto the frosty, cold road.

Never looked back.