Chapter 205: You and I are very sick.

It's been three days, and Xie Qingcheng has been left at He Yu's home to receive treatment.

After He Yu returned to China, he has been like a balloon filled with hatred and anger, which is about to explode at any time. In his opinion, Xie Qingcheng favored Chen Man so much back then, and then he deceived himself for Chen Man, causing him to almost die, which had already caused him a lot of pain, and his heart was like ashes. And when he finally returned to the mainland after all the trials and tribulations, Xie Qingcheng was with Chen Man. Even a normal person can't bear such pain, let alone him.

He suppressed, self-control ...... eventually failed completely, he put all the disappointment, hatred, resentment, jealousy, along with three years of accumulated feelings together in Xie Qingcheng body unbridled vent out.

And just as a patient with a fever must reach the highest point of the temperature before it slowly comes down, after that incident at the speech meeting, the hostility in He Yu's heart seems to have finally begun to diminish a little.

He has become patient with Xie Qingcheng, and when he doesn't need to take care of his work, he stays with him all the time, and he doesn't feel uncomfortable when they stay in the bedroom, even if they don't talk to each other for hours.

But Xie Qingcheng's inflammation slowly went down, but his condition never improved, which was natural, because Xie Qingcheng was off his medication - only He Yu didn't know it.

He asked the private doctor who hired a strict mouth, but the doctor has not been involved in the core rn-13 field, naturally can not see anything, only to say that Xie Qingcheng is probably not in a good mood.

"A person's mental state is very important. You'd better spend more time with him when you have time."

He Yu stayed by his side even more, not going out for anything important, watching him finish his meals, drink his medicine, and stay in bed to recuperate.

But when it comes to being bedridden, it's more than likely that you'll have to be on a therapy beam, or Xie Qingcheng may want to give up at any time.

He Yu said to him, "You don't have to be so resistant, as I said, when you get well, I will personally send you home. If you want to leave earlier, then you should cooperate with me and get well."

As he spoke, he poured a cup of hot fresh milk and brought it to the bedside for Xie Qingcheng to drink.

Xie Qingcheng turned his face away. He wouldn't drink.

He Yu's eyes are deep, he puts down his cup and raises his hand, Xie Qingcheng closes his eyes, and he thinks what he's waiting for is some kind of violent--

One second.

Two seconds.

Three seconds.

After three seconds, He Yu finally just touched his hair sideburns.

Nothing more.

In this way, some not too bad days passed, He Yu would talk to Xie Qingcheng a lot, and would also hold Xie Qingcheng in his arms to sleep, and sometimes he would even cook for Xie Qingcheng himself.

He made a bowl of steaming hot Yangzhou fried rice, put a lot of crystal clear shrimp, sprinkled with finely chopped green onions, but unfortunately his hands are too poor, salt and rice are not fried, Xie Qingcheng only ate a mouthful of it and refused to touch it again, looking even more ugly than before he ate.

He Yu also made a chicken soup with small wontons once, but it turned out to be a noodle soup, and it was served with a pile of unrecognizable paste, so Xie Qingcheng just took one look at it this time, and didn't even bother to move his lips.

After several failures in a row, He Yu gave up on himself and simply asked what he wanted to eat, and he asked the cook to make it.

"It doesn't matter what. It just doesn't matter that you didn't do it. You made ...... it," he glanced at him, "and I can't stand it."

These words, which seemed to have a deeper meaning, caused He Yu's face to sink slightly and become a bit ugly.

But he didn't get angry, he knew that Xie Qingcheng was trying to make him get sick of him and give up leaving him at home for treatment. So He Yu pulled out a cold smile after a moment of silence.

"Okay, all according to you."

Xie Qingcheng did eat the dishes made by the chef, but the portion was not much, obviously not much appetite. He Yu privately and the cook to let them find a way to do so that people eat more, master chef even pregnant women's appetizer recipes have been used for reference, the contents of the up even appeared in the hawthorn cake and freshly pickled plums, but the results of the Xie Qingcheng still do not buy, but outside the beginning of the rumors began to rumors that Mr. He may be outside the incurring any debt of love, randomly play a woman results! He is a thin career man, do not want to mother only want to son, so in the home good life with a mistress, and so the mistress October pregnancy after giving birth to a child and the other side of the settlement of the money to clear the accounts.

"No wonder we don't see him these days except for business events already scheduled."

"I'll be home as soon as I finish work."

"I hear they're still often late in the morning ......"

"Oh, that baby must be three months old, they usually can't have that without three months."

"I hear it's still an actress ......"

"That's no wonder, that woman has never thrown her head out of the window, I guess she also wants to face, Mr. He and she take the money and two clear, she is like working this pregnancy, after the work, she still has to be in the entertainment industry."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, mess ......"

The two men in question did not know about this outside rumor, and He Yu, who talked about hating Xie Qingcheng, became much more considerate and gentle after having sex with him again - although there was a very sick element in this gentleness, and he didn't want to control Xie Qingcheng all the time, he wanted to strangle Xie Qingcheng in his bed, trapped in his palm.

He had modified the bedside lamp to create an underwater illusion of the entire house, and the effect was done far more realistically than it had been back then, almost like a Disney 5D ride. Jellyfish of all sizes floated in the projected sea water, and every fifteen minutes giant ethereal jellyfish covered the entire ceiling of the bedroom floating solemnly and mysteriously past.

"Does it look good?" He Yu asked him.

Xie Qingcheng's reaction was muted, but at least gave the response, "...... How did that happen."

"Mandela's scientific abilities are far above those of normal society, and it would be easy to make an effect like this."

Xie Qingcheng said, "You turn it off."

"......"

"I don't see any seabed, I only see a room full of blood." Icy syllables escaped from Xie Qingcheng's thin lips, "My parents', your mother's, Lu Yuzhu, Jiang Liping ...... the blood of all those who died because of Duan Wen's Mandela organization. "

Xie Qingcheng said, "There is no way for me to write off my hatred for him like you do."

He Yu s expression finally became very gloomy, and he said, "...... Xie Qingcheng, it was you who pushed me into them with your own hands. What do you now glibly say about writing it off?"

Xie Qingcheng didn't answer.

He waited until He Yu was ready to leave the bedroom before he suddenly said, "He Yu."

He Yu stopped walking.

"You know what."

"Hmm?"

"Actually, I would have preferred you to be dead at that time." Xie Qingcheng paused, and there was the second half of the sentence stuck in his throat.

-Then, when I have finished organizing my teacher's writings, I will go with you.

The words are too fragile, gathered in the chest, so weak that a moment can not be told from the throat, Xie Qingcheng just pause there. He looked at He Yu s expression, looked at He Yu s eyes ...... after a long time, that kind of heart like a knife cut strange feeling, finally let him desperate to say this sentence out.

But just then, He Yu abruptly let out a light laugh, his smile sarcastic with a hint of gangster.

He Yu said, "I naturally know that you warned me long ago that you would stand against me if I dared to harm others in order to achieve my goal. These words of justice to the core, I have thought about them day and night for the past three years, how could I forget them so easily?"

"......" Xie Qingcheng's lips trembled slightly and eventually pursed tightly.

Those few words that had gathered in his throat suddenly no longer had the strength to be uttered.

He Yu laughed, "I know that you have always been cynical and impartial. Perhaps back then, when Chen Yan and the others wanted you to kill me with your own hands, it wasn't something that was impossible for you to do."

Xie Qingcheng looked at him woodenly.

The half-said words were completely lost in a cloud of smoke.

He Yu left, his face shrouded in a look of near-endurance.

.

Xie Qingcheng can actually leave anytime now. He Yu didn't lock his door behind him, it's not house arrest.

Just He Yu's bodyguards are too annoying, as long as he goes out where to follow, Xie Qingcheng tried once, in He Yu to go to the company downstairs, straight to the door of the villa, no one to stop him, but Guan Jia before and after asking him where to go, but also insisted that he sent him to the car.

So He Yu indeed did not restrict Xie Qingcheng's freedom, but he also held Xie Qingcheng's temperament - Xie Qingcheng would not allow himself to be followed by two bodyguards at all times, and those two people could not be driven away, and they were very courteous, no matter what Xie Qingcheng said, they were able to follow the service with peace of mind, and did not move an inch. No matter what Xie Qingcheng said, they were able to remain calm and follow the service without moving an inch.

Xie Qingcheng finally have no choice, this matter to be put out to tell people, but even more lose his face. He also does not want to make his family worry, anyway, live so live, wait for He Yu to remove the bodyguards, anyway, it is only a few days of the matter.

Every day when He Yu returns, he talks to Xie Qingcheng for a while, but their relationship is so fragile now that the conversations often end up simply going nowhere.

One day He Yu couldn't take it anymore and finally chilled out, "Can't you say something I like to hear?"

"I'll say whatever you can like to hear."

"......"

"You hate me from the bottom of your heart right now, so whatever I say will sound bad to you." Xie Qingcheng said, "There is only one way to make you happier."

"What."

"Remove your bodyguards and let me go back." Xie Qingcheng said, "That way you can be out of sight and out of mind for me."

After a long period of silence, He Yu sat down on the edge of the bed, clutched Xie Qingcheng's inked hair, and moved closer, almost eye to eye, the tip of his nose touching the tip of his nose, his movements gentle, but his gestures rough, like a mixture of love and hate, so sick that it was horrible. His eyes swept from Xie Qingcheng's eyes to Xie Qingcheng's lips, and finally back to the other's eyes, and he whispered, "No. Only this won't do."

The hand touched the hangman's bottle.

"You're not well yet, and I'm very, very ...... uneasy about you."

"......"

"Get well. Let me stay with you."

"What if I don't want to."

"...... I'm afraid it's not up to you."

Negotiations still broke down.

From that day on, Xie Qingcheng simply stopped talking to He Yu. When He Yu came home in the evening, no matter what he told him, chatting or scolding him, he would either look down and read a book or close his eyes and rest his mind.

He Yu was acting like a madman, talking out of turn to someone like him who wouldn't respond.

Sometimes He Yu didn't say anything and just looked at him with such a creepy look that Xie Qingcheng was probably the only one in the world who could stand it.

The hardest part was the stage of changing the medication.

He Yu does not allow anyone else to apply the medicine to Xie Qingcheng, he does it himself when he gets home. Xie Qingcheng would resist at first, his face showing some vivid, distressed looks.

But after their icy conversation, Xie Qingcheng seemed to have become numb; he made no expression, gave no feedback, and let He Yu apply the medicine for him, as if He Yu was a robot.

Cold violence hurts more than a sharp knife.

Anxiety was growing in He Yu's chest, and once he couldn't help himself after taking the medicine and asked Xie Qingcheng in a stern voice, "Why don't you look at me? Why don't you look at me? You don't even want to give me hate now?"

He asked two or three times before Xie Qingcheng turned his glazed eyes and slowly focused his gaze on He Yu.

"I'm in no position to hate you at all, He Yu." he finally spoke, "I was wrong for you three years ago after all."

"......"

"So I can't give you anything now. Hate can't give either."

Xie Qingcheng slowly closed his eyes.

"What you want. Just let you be."

At that moment, He Yu looked at his drooping eyelashes, and for a moment, he was so furious that he almost wanted to tear Xie Qingcheng apart from flesh and blood to white bone. But when he saw the drip on Xie Qingcheng's hand and the pallor on his face, he finally held his tongue.

Turning off the light, he lay down beside Xie Qingcheng, the bed was too big, and the two of them were deliberately separated by a distance, the middle was empty and cold-- He Yu's eyes were bloodshot as he stared at the ceiling.

He knew that what he was doing now would only fracture their relationship even more.

But he just doesn't want Xie Qingcheng to go.

It seems that even if Xie Qingcheng were dead and decayed into dry bones, he would still want him to stay.

Keeping it will make you miserable, and misery, at least, is better than those three years of loneliness and numbness.

.

On the fifth day, He Yu came back from outside, carrying a plastic bag. Xie Qingcheng's fever had finally subsided, but his face looked bad and he was listless.

He Yu : "I brought you some food from outside today, you should like it."

Xie Qingcheng mechanically raised his eyes, "My fever has subsided."

"......"

"It's time you honored your own promises."

He Yu paused for a moment and handed him the plastic bag, ignoring Xie Qingcheng's words and instead said to himself, "Drink it while it's hot, it won't taste good when it gets cold."

"You're not in a hospital here, I'm not going to stay for the rest of my life."

He Yu was silent, and after a few seconds, he opened the plastic bag himself, which contained two dollars a cup of that old-fashioned milk tea.

"Are you sure you're not going to drink some." He asked him with a grimace.

Xie Qingcheng: "Not going to."

As if all the stoicism of these days has stacked up to the limit, all of Xie Qingcheng s coldness, numbness, indifference, and self-enclosure ...... finally completely shattered He Yu s heart embankment. He Yu suddenly got up with a gloomy face, violently copied the milk tea, broke open Xie Qingcheng's mouth and sent it in.

But his hands were actually shaking a little.

The milk tea spilled half on Xie Qingcheng's face and half on his lapel.

Dripping, sticky and greasy, like a tangled mess.

The plastic straw bruised Xie Qingcheng's lip, and rose-colored blood oozed out.

He Yu stares, and after a moment, disengages himself and tosses the mug aside.

"...... Why."

"......"

"Why did you have to become like this for him? Xie Qingcheng?Why do you have to be like this!!!"

"......" Xie Qingcheng, blood dripping from his lips, raised his eyes icily, "I'd love to ask you why, He Yu."

"What?"

"I thought you were no longer interested in me. So why do all this again."

"......"

"Don't you think it's pointless, He Yu."

"......"

"My death, my life, my likes and dislikes, anything that happens to me should no longer have anything to do with you."

He Yu looked at Xie Qingcheng in silence.

Xie Qingcheng's cheeks and lapel were still wet, and he looked a mess.

But his eyes were flat and silent, as if they would never ripple again.

He Yu was stung by the almost vacant look that became more and more unbearable.

He paced back and forth, circling in place, sleepy and restless.

Then he came to a violent stop in front of Xie Qingcheng, his chest rising and falling violently, mechanically, morbidly.

"You owe me." He gritted his teeth and told Xie Qingcheng, "Because you owe me."

"You almost got me killed three years ago, and now I just want a little piece of my past in you, can't I? So I'll show you and fuck you, can't I? I just want to get up and feel that way!"

"So have you found the feeling you once had." After a long silence, Xie Qingcheng asked him that.

He Yu's eyes seemed to fill with blood for a moment.

Scarlet.

"...... This is my business." The warmth of the past few days seemed to have vanished again in a flash as He Yu said in a raw, one-word voice, "This is my business, Xie Qingcheng."

"Find it or not, I'm going to find it."

He Yu went back on his word, and after Xie Qingcheng's fever subsided, he still didn't send him away.

He had no guilt about it, because the door to his house was open for Xie Qingcheng - it was Xie Qingcheng himself who didn't leave.

He ignored the fact that he had sent bodyguards to follow Xie Qingcheng, he just said to himself that Xie Qingcheng was allowed to leave, but Xie Qingcheng had always stayed here. Since Xie Qingcheng stayed, does it still mean that there is still an unseen coupling between the two of them?

Wasn't there an unseen strand of entanglement deeply entwined between the two of them in their cruelty to each other.

However, it is undeniable that since Xie Qingcheng's recovery, He Yu has been hanging on by a thread every time he comes home.

That breath would not be silently let go until he pushed open the door of the room and saw Xie Qingcheng inside.

On the first day, he was still there.

Shallow sleep in the Windsor chair in the bedroom.

The next day, he was still there.

Looking out the window at the lake and lawn.

Day 3, Day 4 ......

Xie Qingcheng still hasn't left.

Until the sixth day.

He Yu pushed open the door and found the room empty, the bed neatly made, Xie Qingcheng coat on the back of the chair is also gone.

At that moment, He Yu's blood froze into ice, and he stood in his bedroom for a long time, thinking, "Has this day finally come?

He's still gone ...... He's still gone ......

He Yu was silent for a long time before he suddenly swept down the table full of medicines and injections in a violent rage! With a clatter, bottles and jars shattered all over the floor.

He scratched hard at his frontal hair, his other hand on his waist, and tilted his head back to catch his breath.

Xie Qingcheng Still gone? ......

He's still ......

"What are you doing."

He Yu turned back with a jolt.

Xie Qingcheng, his coat on, his emaciated face without any color or waves, stood in front of the deep red teak door and watched him.

At that moment He Yu suddenly felt that an invisible hand had opened his chest cavity and roughly shoved his heart back inside his flesh and blood.

Boom boom.

That heart beat heavily.

Boom Boom. Boom boom. ......

He Yu, as if he had suddenly regained his soul, wiped his red eyes, turned around, and walked towards Xie Qingcheng with great strides--

He stood still in front of him, his hands trembling, and had to use every ounce of strength he had to restrain the urge to take the man fiercely into his arms.

"...... Where have you been?" Even his voice trembled.

Xie Qingcheng's eyes flickered imperceptibly, "Just walking around, I'm bored."

He Yu opened his mouth, didn't know what to say, closed it again, raised his hand, did nothing, and lowered it again.

Xie Qingcheng: "You think I went back?"

"...... No. I ......" He Yu said, "I'm just looking for something. I ...... I can't find my stuff."

Xie Qingcheng looked at him quietly, "If you remove the bodyguards, I will indeed leave. I just don't like people following me."

"......"

He Yu didn't say another word and wiped his face.

Xie Qingcheng won.

He could barely fake calm to face this man anymore.

He realized that the existence of Xie Qingcheng was a most horrible bayonet for him.

Even if he was half blind, even if he was crippled, the bayonet still possessed a sharpness beyond its owner's body, capable of shattering armor.

He Yu took a deep breath and didn't say anything more, he felt like he was about to go crazy to the point of losing his mind again, so he went straight to the restroom and slammed the door shut, locking himself inside.

That night, He Yu did not sleep on the big bed with Xie Qingcheng on his back.

For the first time in so many days, he crossed the invisible line in the middle and hugged Xie Qingcheng's waist as he fell asleep, and he forced Xie Qingcheng to be sure to face him as well.

The night was quiet enough to hear the leaves rustling outside the window and the occasional rattle of two stallions' noses in the pasture.

He Yu just looked at Xie Qingcheng for a long time, then suddenly said, "...... Xie Qingcheng."

Xie Qingcheng did not respond as usual.

He Yu then said to himself, "You already have gray hair."

"......"

"Did you find out for yourself."

He hides his inevitable grief, just as Xie Qingcheng hides the sorrow he can't give up.

Xie Qingcheng indifference to look up, look numb than before.

"That's true, people always get old."

"...you're not forty yet."

"But I'm tired of living."

"......"

He Yu was out of his mind for a long time, the look on his face was somber for a while, despondent for a while, crazy for a while, and in a trance for a while.

Finally he leaned closer, almost without any gap, and hugged the already thin Xie Qingcheng tightly.

The jaw rested against the hollow of his shoulder, just like it used to.

But He Yu couldn't say anything soft. I love you, which he used to be able to repeat countless times with ease, has now become a thorn in his throat and a ruin in his heart.

He did not speak, doing such inexplicable things, Xie Qingcheng also numb, do not want to ask more.

One of them gave up on himself, the other to death, and their living bodies embraced the bed, but they were like bones at the spring.

And then later, in the latter part of the night, when neither of them had fallen asleep, not knowing what inner impulse had arisen from what demeanor, or perhaps nothing had triggered it- He Yu just thought it, and did it.

He had sex with Xie Qingcheng once again in this cool bedroom, on this night.

Almost without a word.

It's like a kind of emotional breakdown to the limit to vent. As if this was the only way he could confirm that Xie Qingcheng was really still with him.

Never left.

After this night, He Yu seemed to have finally found a way to relieve himself in an almost monstrous way, he no longer took the initiative to mention anything about sending Xie Qingcheng back, he changed his mind, and almost every night when he came home, he had to entangle himself with Xie Qingcheng as if he were a newlywed husband getting close to his wife.

Now he is no longer so rough, words and actions, did not hurt Xie Qingcheng again.

But his heart is empty, and to fill that hole, his solicitations will be many.

When they were in bed, He Yu also went from being very talkative to being unusually silent, which became a cruel sacrificial ritual in which he constantly confirmed that he was still alive and that Xie Qingcheng was still not separated from him.

Just what was being sacrificed away in this ritual, both seemed to know, and neither seemed to know ...... or as if neither cared anymore.

He Yu regularly gets rid of Xie Qingcheng's cell phone intercepts, which may be a form of control for him, but Xie Qingcheng, who is very ambitious, doesn't have this notion of being subordinate at all, and sees it as He Yu acting as his free secretary.

Or maybe he had no desire to live, so it didn't matter what He Yu did.

The days just went by.

Until one day, when He Yu went out, Xie Qingcheng was sitting by the window, looking down at the sparkling artificial lake, when the bedroom door was pushed open.

He thought it was He Yu, so he didn't turn around.

Then he heard a ghostly cold voice: "I told you how I couldn't find you anywhere these days, and thought that you had withdrawn on the spot, failed in the bidding for the medicine, and were so ashamed of yourself that you hid and had no face to see anyone. It turns out that you are here in Mr. He, being raised by him like a woman, and you actually do not resist, happy to be at ease, you really opened my eyes ah - cousin."