Chapter 199: Hidden treasure, forgetting, psychotherapy.

That night, Chi Xiaochi had another nightmare, not knowing if it was because of seeing Shi Jinghong again.

The dream was of a battlefield of blood and fire, with a white horse lying upside down, its disheveled mane of hair covered with fresh blood, and blown by the wind, knotted up into large, hard locks of auburn color.

Shi Tingyun turned over the corpses one by one, Yan Yuanheng, Yan Yuanzhao, Li Yeshu, Shi Jinghong, one by one, the familiar bloody faces zoomed in and out in front of him.

Chi Xiaochi opened his eyes to the strong smell of blood in his nose, and his fingers subconsciously grabbed at the side, only to be empty when he remembered that Shi Jinghong had arranged a separate room for Yu Fengmian.

He got up, used herbal tea to suppress the sweet and fishy taste in his mouth, changed into a lightweight suit, and went out through the window without waking up Li Yeshu who was taking a nap in the courtyard.

Shi Tingyun, the general's residence within Dingyuan City, had also been here before, so he followed his memory and lightly felt his way to the drill ground.

The moon was high in the sky, and the moonlight shone brightly on the stones by the martial arts field. Chi Xiaochi picked a silver spear from it and weighed it in his hand: "Take it."

There was no desire in his body to move, and the hand holding the gun was still a little sweaty, as if the slippery blood from the dream was still attached to his palm.

Chi Xiaochi moved his neck, "Sleep when you're tired of fighting. There are things to do tomorrow."

The body moved as he commanded.

At first, the gun was unsteady and mistakes were frequent, but as the body's instincts dipped in, the mistakes were gradually corrected.

The man under the moon noiselessly danced his spear, his body moving freely, just like a young and robust silver dragon.

The gun's momentum ended with the sound of a sharp object breaking through the air.

The teenager held the gun flat, beads of sweat glistening on his neck, sliding slowly down the curve of his neck in time with his panting.

Chi Xiaochi asked Shi Tingyun in his body, "Not sleepy yet?"

His mind, which was not tired, but clearer after the exercise, gave him the answer.

Chi Xiaochi slid his gun back to its original position, "That's right if you're not sleepy. There's still half an hour of dawn left, if you really sleep through it, it's not going to be easy."

Shi Tingyun: "......"

Chi Xiaochi sat on his butt on the steps of the cloister by the drill hall.

Surrounded by dense darkness, the bright moon hung high and shone like the sun.

Chi Xiaochi reached out to block some of the harsh moonlight and said, "In all the time I've been with you, I've never talked to you alone."

Shi Tingyun is silent, thinking about his own mind.

Chi Xiaochi : "Don't thank me. Staying with you is something I should do."

Shi Tingyun : "......?"

Chi Xiaochi : "You hire me with your life, I take my life to go to war with you, we are equals, no one owes anyone anything."

Shi Tingyun: "......" Thanks a lot.

Chi Xiaochi : "Aiya, I've said I don't owe anyone anything, and you're still being polite to me."

Shi Tingyun: "............"

He didn't feel like he could have a good conversation with this person.

The cool breeze is like water, blowing the mind.

A thin cloud swept across the sky, covering some of the moonlight like a light veil, and Chi Xiaochi's eyes adjusted a bit, propping her elbows on the steps behind her, supporting herself on one leg and lazily looking up at the moon, "It feels quite strange to have nightmares that have nothing to do with you."

Shi Tingyun : "......" Sorry.

Chi Xiaochi: "Don't say you're sorry, it's not what you wanted. As I said, we are equals, everything you have is what I deserve to bear. It doesn't make sense that I should only enjoy the honor of being a Major General, the only son of a general." Pain, struggle, hatred and nightmares are all necessary elements that make up Shi Tingyun's person.

This time they finally got it together.

Chi Xiaochi moved her body, "...... But psychotherapy can be given away for free, either? When Lucas bought several sessions for me without telling me, it cost him a lot of money."

The sick man in his body remained silent.

There is no way for even the most experienced psychiatrist to treat a patient who has lost the ability to communicate.

But Chi Xiaochi, the Mongolian doctor, is fearless.

He said: "I have a disease, similar to yours, sick for ten years or so, senior drug pot, knocked sleeping pills can kill two cows, from inside to outside is drenched in broken pot of rotten energy. Lucas always said that I looked like I had been widowed for years and was not afraid of anything. I beat him up, but I knew he was right. I always thought I'd be sick to death. Yeah, not sick to death, sick to death."

"I love nightmares too. But my dreams aren't blood-stabbed and pulled like yours."

"I always dream that I'm waiting for someone, sitting at home, or sitting at a restaurant or a playground, and just waiting until I wake up. There are times when I wake up and it takes a while before I realize I'm awake and don't have to wait anymore."

"I've seen three or four psychiatrists, and they all suggested that I should go to the gym more often; lots of exercise is soothing, and the physical contact that inevitably occurs at the gym helps with desensitization therapy ...... What is desensitization? An analogy is that you don't like radishes, and the treatment is to take you to visit the radish garden every day, and add radishes to your meals in a different way every day, a little bit a day, and over time, the radish-phobia will go away."

"I wouldn't. I pay people to exercise in front of me. I like to watch them push while I drink a sports drink."

"The doctor asked me what it was for, and I told him it made me feel happy, too."

"They told me, Mr. Chi, you so treat the symptoms but not the root cause. I said that even if I push into the biology compulsory one protein that chapter of the bodybuilding lady is also treating the symptoms but not the root cause, look at who are like looking at monkeys, look at themselves also disturbed it."

"They said, Mr. Chi, don't get on our bad side, this joy is short-lived, you're trying to cure a disease, you have to listen to the doctor's advice. All mental illnesses are the result of a place in your heart that is not clear, you have to learn to forget, to look ahead. Over time, the blockage will be unblocked."

Shi Tingyun within his body listened quietly, thinking that the healers had a point.

Maybe after some more time, he'll really forget about it too.

Forget all the bad things in the past and face a fresh start ......

Chi Xiaochi turned the tables, "But who am I to forget."

Shi Tingyun : "......?"

"People always want to forget the past that stupid self, think forgetting and letting go, itself is a behavior full of courage. I don't think so, forgetting is the simplest escape, than who escaped faster and farther, at most counts as your running speed, what is courage."

"I will not forget. I will not forget why I became that way, why I got the disease. Because at the time I couldn't, I was too weak, I was stupid, I was lied to."

"How many people choose to have to forget and move on because they don't want to face themselves like that? I don't judge, I just don't allow myself to be like that. The people who victimized me can't wait for me to forget and move on. On second thought, I'd rather not. It upsets me to let the person who harmed me go along with it."

"Then the people who hurt me were gone, and I got so used to carrying that baggage that I couldn't let it go, and I looked back at myself over and over again, and reminded myself over and over again, and asked myself what I should do the next time I ran into the same thing, and to never let myself lose an important person again. So year after year, also came over, well did not lose anything again, and did not run into any important people."

"The doctor, after listening to me push my buttons, told me, Mr. Chi, you probably don't need to see a doctor."

"I know they're not complimenting me. I'm so sick that the disease has become a part of my body and can't be cured."

Chi Xiaochi speaks with little cadence, three parts self-deprecating, six parts flat, and the remaining one part, a bit of a mischievous grin.

"I live a happy life and I don't hate myself for it. I think it's fine to be a happy sick person like this. ...... The only thing I'm afraid of is someone hating me like this, but it doesn't matter."

Chi Xiaochi said, "I can only help you with the first half of the journey this time by taking care of the people who are harming you; the second half of the journey, I can't live for you."

"When I'm gone, whether you want to be a happy Mongolian doctor like me, or whether you want to follow the doctor's orders and be the one who puts it down, it's all up to you."

Speaking, Chi Xiaochi's voice with a real envy: "To be honest, you are much better than me, have a father, have friends, the family has money. Unlike me, at that time can only hold a thought to live ...... Also, you are still young."

Shi Tingyun is silent.

Some of Chi Xiaochi's words were oddly phrased, but he could understand most of them with a little guesswork.

The heat and sweat had subsided, and the night breeze slid past against his body, comforting.

After listening to him for a while, Shi Tingyun's mind was actually tranquilized like never before: "...... "Thank you.

Chi Xiaochi rested her arms comfortably, "Fine. I bet you're cursing me in your mind right now."

Shi Tingyun : "......???"

Chi Xiaochi : "All this talk and nothing useful. At least I have a sleeping pill I can take, and I can't give it to you ......."

Before the words left his mouth, he suddenly felt his right hand suddenly move to the side and grab something.

Shi Tingyun focused all his energy on his right hand and finally managed to gain a little bit of autonomy to catch a small butterfly that mistook the moonlight for a pool of water and rested on the steps.

Shi Tingyun's hand, capable of pushing a hundred thousand pounds, shook slightly from trying to catch a small butterfly wing.

He sent the butterfly to Chi Xiaochi.

...... sent to you.

This time, it's a real thank you.

Chi Xiaochi, after being slightly stunned, took the butterfly with her left hand, gathered it in her palm, and smiled softly, "You're welcome."

The butterfly's tiny limbs brushed against his palm, and Chi Xiaochi blew into his palm and sent the butterfly away.

The frightened white butterfly quickly disappeared, and following the spot where it had disappeared, Chi Xiaochi saw the shape of the star of the beginning emerge from the sky.

Chi Xiaochi moved around and jumped up, "It's getting light. Go ......"

He turned around and caught sight of Lou Ying, who was sitting in the shadows at the corner of the back porch.

Chi Xiaochi was startled, "Mr. ......, when did you get here?"

Lou Ying pretended to pull on his shirt and dusted the night dew off his shoulders, "Heard a noise and got up."

Since entering this world, Chi Xiaochi had always thought that the docking signal between Lou Ying and herself was bad, and that she shouldn't be able to hear herself when she fell asleep.

He couldn't help but feel a little distressed when he thought that the long speech he had just given had probably disturbed Lou Ying's sleep.

Chi Xiaochi stepped forward quickly, helped him into his wheelchair, and said, "I'll push you to get some more sleep."

Lou Ying gave a low "hmm".

Another silence fell between the two, and for a while, the only sound was the incessant reeling of the wheelchair rolling on the cold stone slabs, sending the two of them all the way to the house.

Chi Xiaochi touched the quilt as she carried Lou Ying to bed.

The quilt had gotten cold, and its owner should have been gone for a long time.

Chi Xiaochi didn't say anything.

Counting the hours, it was time to freshen up myself.

He tucks the covers in for Lou Ying, fixes his hair, and turns to leave.

As she reached the door, Lou Ying's voice came from behind her.

"...... I'm sorry." The voice was a little muffled, and the emotion contained within it was one that screamed heartfelt, genuine heartache, "...... worked hard for you."

Leaving you alone and sick for so many years. I'm sorry.

Chi Xiaochi had her back to him, her head hanging slightly.

After a moment, he took a breath and turned his head, no sadness between his smiles, bright teenage boy pneumatic as hell, "It's not hard."

And as Chi Xiaochi turned her head, a tear fell quickly, not touching her face, only wetting her eyelashes a little.

The work of a single tear was enough for him to adjust himself.

He raised a hand to touch his face to make sure his demeanor was back to normal, then he wiped away the faint traces of water on his eyelashes and took a big step toward the outside.

But he didn't pay attention to where the tears went.

Now, in the form of a water droplet, it is condensed in Lou Ying's palm.

After the tension data was rewritten, it looked like a soft, transparent droplet rolling back and forth within his palm.

...... What a little patient he has.

Lou Ying lowered his head and carefully touched the still-warm tears with his lips.

Immediately, he took the tear into his body and wrote a simple program to store it inside his left chest near his heart.