"Just don't go, okay?"

The large center hall was dead silent.

At some point the sky became cloudy, the original hot sun was covered by heavy clouds, and the gray sky looked like a July rainstorm was brewing.

The room slowly slipped into dimness, and no one bothered to turn on the lights.

Lin Jian always stood beside the sofa, from his perspective, Shen Ke side of the side of the face is trapped in the darkness, half-light, half-obvious, can not let a person insight into the emotions, can only feel his silence.

Lin Jian suddenly felt a sense of relief, as if he had finally made up his mind to remove the tons of weight from his body, but after a moment of relief, endless aches and pains soaked out of every inch of his muscles and bones, all over his body.

After a long time, Shen Ke's low, deep voice rang in his ears, and with a slight muffled tone, he called his name.

"Lin Jian."

Lin Jian's drooping eyes stayed on the side of his face, "Go ahead."

Shen Ke turned his head and looked at him with warm and vague eyes, as if through a thin layer of miasma, shadowed as if he couldn't see the end of it, "Do you know what your words just now mean?"

"Of course I know." Heart as if clutched by steel claws and sharp fingers, stinging accompanied by blood cracked, but Lin Jian's expression was calm and did not give away half of the pain: "I like the same sex, I like people of my own gender, that is, what other people call the same-"

"Lin Jian." Shen Ke suddenly interrupted him, a rare hint of hardness and strength in his tone, "It could just be your illusion."

Lin Jian pursed up his lips, and his whole body was like a brittle three-pronged keel, silently putting up a body full of short thorns, defending and guarding.

Shen Ke lifted his eyes and looked at him, the bottom of his eyes reflected the last trace of the afterglow refracted from the window, like an obscure and sporadic light: "Your age, it is just the time to explore and impulse to emotions, by the influence of hormone secretion of puberty, the real-life environment and the guidance of unexpected events and so on, may make you to the emotions between the two sexes or between the same sex. produce illusion, so even if you have a similar feeling of liking to boys, it does not mean that you are ......"

Shen Ke spoke slowly and paused gently here, as if deliberately avoiding those key words, before saying, "So that could just be a daze of confusion, and you ...... are still too small and too young to jump to such conclusions about yourself. "

"Delusion, disorientation?" After a long silence, Lin Jian blinks slowly, and the corners of his mouth curl into an almost tragic smile, which flickers before he spits out the most decisive words without giving himself a chance to retreat--

"What if instead of a momentary impulse, I'm caught up in a long-lasting desire?"

Shen Ke froze for a moment, and after abruptly realizing what he meant, his always calm and introverted expression finally cracked open.

A silent tug-of-war between two silent people in a stagnant space.

"What kind of person is he?" Shen Ke finally asked after a long time, his voice slightly grainy, like the muffled sound of heavy smoking over a short period of time, but Lin Jian knew that Shen Ke had never smoked.

"It has nothing to do with you." Lin Jian replied quickly and simply, as if he had blurted out the answer without thinking at all.

Shen Ke visibly choked.

"It doesn't matter who, he doesn't mean that to me." A slight redness rippled under the teenager's eyes, and he twisted his head to stop looking at the person on the couch, the back of his shoulders and neck pulling a sharp and stubborn line between them, an obstinate and defensive stance.

And Shen Ke didn't say another word.

"I know you're disappointed, maybe you can't accept it at all." Like a flame burning upward from the heel, Lin Jian only felt his throat also hurt badly, the smoke choked him almost unable to breathe, his voice line sizzled and dipped in blood tendons, "or will also think I ...... am disgusting." He breathed heavily, as if he had thought of a way back from the beginning, and said quickly, "The beginning of the school year will be the senior year, I will apply for accommodation with the school, and then I will move out, and will not be in your way."

"Lin Jian." Shen Ke called out his name in a deep voice.

"Don't say anything, I'll go back to my room first." Lin Jian no longer gave him a chance to speak, and left a decisive sentence, walking straight into his own room.

"The door closed with a thud, and Shen Ke's fingers curled imperceptibly in his lap.

*

Soon after Lin Jian returned to his room that afternoon, it was pouring rain outside, and it was in that rain that Shen Ke left.

Lin Jian seldom left the room these days because he didn't know when Shen Ke would suddenly come back, and he didn't want the two of them to meet in such a state, which would then give rise to endless silence and awkwardness.

Coincidentally, Shen Ke didn't come back for a few days in a row, either because he was too busy or because he deliberately avoided it.

The short vacation will be over in the blink of an eye. In mid-August, the senior class started school early, and Lin Jian celebrated her 17th birthday the day before school started.

In the early morning hours, he went to the kitchen to warm up a cup of milk for himself, boiled two white eggs, and after a casual meal, went to the study on the second floor to practise his writing, which is most distraction-free, and when a layer of scattered ripe proclamations was spread under his feet, it was already past three o'clock in the afternoon.

Lin Jian remembered that he was hungry, and grabbed his cell phone, pretending to glance at the time without meaning to, before heading downstairs to change and go out for food.

He deliberately ignored the little bit of expectation that remained in his heart, deceiving himself and admonishing himself that it didn't matter, he had known it would turn out like this, so it really didn't matter.

The weather in mid-August is still hot, Lin Jian has not been out of the house for many days, at first into such a heat wave, a moment actually a bit of a trance.

He didn't take transportation and walked out of this upscale neighborhood along the canopied road, which in turn led to a long walk down the main road, all the way to the busy business district in the center of town, before he pushed his way into a Hong Kong-style teahouse.

It's a bit awkward to eat at this time of day, too late for lunch, too early for dinner, and after walking all the way, the heat is more than enough to satisfy the hunger, so Lin Jian just had to eat a satay beef toast and a small portion of hand-sliced crushed ice, and then finished it in one gulp.

It was only a little after five o'clock when Lin Jian was filled up, and he was bored with the roadside, not knowing where else to go.

Suddenly, I saw a chain hypermarket and thought that I should prepare some daily necessities since I will be staying in a dormitory after the school year started, so I simply went to buy something.

Although he has been living with Shen Ke for all these years, and his daily life is taken care of by Shen Ke's assistants, he has not left behind any of the habits he developed at a young age, and unlike other 17 and 18 year old boys, he is able to take care of himself on his own in a very organized manner.

After buying two large pockets of various things, Lin Jian carried the bags out of the supermarket and took a taxi back home.

After spending most of the day at home, it was almost seven o'clock when Lin Jian stood in front of the door on the first floor and pressed his fingerprint to unlock it, and when the door opened, he froze for a moment.

The center hall on the first floor is brightly lit, apparently Shen Ke is back.

He was stunned at the door with his shopping bag for half a minute, debating whether to exit silently without touching it or to go straight to his room without a word, when an unusual sound suddenly came from far away.

Lin Jian couldn't react or even dodge in time, and a fleshy pendant was suddenly added to his calf.

He looked down in shock, and was met with a pair of watery, dark eyes--

Surprisingly, it was a small Border Collie of very decent quality, black and white color, looking like it was not more than a full moon, and it was picking at his pants leg, tilting its head and sticking its tongue out at him.

Lin Jian was dumbfounded for a moment, and at that moment, Shen Ke, dressed in his housecoat, came over from the wrong floor of the first floor, and was slightly stunned when he saw the person standing in the doorway.

"You ......"

"This is ......"

After a long moment of silence, both voices sounded and closed at the same time, Lin Jian stuck for a moment and after a few seconds took the initiative to speak, "What is it?"

Shen Ke, probably finding the obvious question somewhat amusing, curled the ends of his eyes very lightly and replied, "Puppies."

"Uh-huh." Lin Jian responded a moment later, dropping his eyes to look at the unafraid little thing before asking, "I mean ...... why is it here?"

Shen Ke didn't answer his question, but simply dropped his eyes to the shopping bag he was carrying in his hand, and after a moment's interval, asked in return, "What's in the hand?"

It was only then that Lin Jian remembered what a delicate and awkward situation they were in.

Embarrassed, yes, but able to be covered up, Lin Jian tightened her fingers, lifted her head, and said flatly, "Day-to-day necessities for lodging preparations."

After this sentence he stopped making a sound, stood there waiting for Shen Ke's response, he thought Shen Ke would nod his head and say yes, or ...... slightly retained, however, no, Shen Ke just very calmly looked at him for a moment, and then said, "Put it there first, come over to take a hand. ."

Lin Jian was slightly stunned, while Shen Ke had already turned back towards the wrong level platform.

Lin Jian let out a slow breath, placed the shopping bag in his hand at the foyer, and followed him over.

What he didn't realize was that Shen Ke's idea of a "hand-hold" was to assemble a solid wood indoor kennel.

The kennel covers a very large area, occupying almost half of the staggered platform, the height of about two meters, the upper and lower double space, the lower floor landing position is also placed on an oversized bed, and this "luxury villa" is prepared for who, self-evident.

Shen Ke stood in front of the half-assembled wooden structure, completely without a bit of consciousness of his own four bodies, just smiled and said, "There are specialties in the arts, and it took most of the day to make it look like this, just as you came back, give me a hand?"

Lin Jian stood by with pursed lips, silent for a few moments before saying nothing, picking up a side of assembly instructions and crouching down to continue unfinished business.

While he does this, Shen Ke sits on the floor, occasionally handing him a part, in a relaxed, hands-off manner.

Lin Jian does not like to talk when he focuses on doing something, but the efficiency of his hands is extremely high, half an hour past, the outline of the double-layer bracket has been installed, Shen Ke at this time as if emotionally, suddenly sighed, laughed softly: "Sure enough, we should let the professionals do professional things, so compared to this, I'm simply too full to do anything ah. "

Lin Jian said, "You just realized that it is a bit late to have an epiphany.

"So ......" Shen Ke said naturally, "what am I going to do at home alone if you're going to stay?"

The movements of Lin Jian's hands abruptly paused, and he slowly raised his head to look at him.

Shen Ke look calm and relaxed, holding the small black and white meatball in his arms, his long fingers sinking into the puppy's soft fur, combing it without a beat, saying, "The puppy is just over a month old, and the octuple vaccine has already been administered, so I just brought it back."

Lin Jian put down the reamer in his hand, his gaze wavering slightly, "So?"

Shen Ke smiled and said, "You said, Alaska's IQ is not really high, and all puppies have to be taught to be trained is very troublesome ...... so it is specially picked a smart one to bring back, the trainer is also invited, do not have to be brought to the base, and you can come to the door every week to train the dog according to your time. In this case the puppy does not leave the person, naturally and you a little closer."

Lin Jian's heart gradually flooded with darkness, "You ......"

"Today will be seventeen years old, thought for a long time but did not think of a suitable birthday gift, let's just use it to fill up, uh ...... how about giving it a name?" Shen Ke slowly dragged up the little Bianmu in his arms and put it into Lin Jian's arms, the tail of his eyes slightly curved, but his tone was light, "Lin Jian, happy birthday."

His arms were gently placed on a warm ball, the heat through the T-shirt to the skin, Lin Jian only feel the heart of the mouth were burned slightly trembling, he moved his lips, half a long time before he lowered his gaze, said in a muffled voice: "I thought that you would not ......"

"Won't what?" Shen Ke asked with a smile, "Is it that you don't remember your birthday, or that you won't get you a present?"

Both.

Lin Jian replied mentally, but after a long silence, the words that came out were, "I thought you wouldn't care about me anymore, wouldn't even want to-"

"Lin Jian." Shen Ke interrupted him very gently, calmly saying, "I told you the other day that admitting your likes and dislikes is not the same as exposing weaknesses, and that it's fine to leave your invulnerability for outsiders to see; at home, there's no need for that."

Lin Jian hung his head, holding back the hot piece of emotion under his eyes for a long time, unable to make a sound.

"You can't refuse to start just because you have limited company." Shen Ke suddenly raises his hand, his fingertips grazing the corners of the teenager's reddened eyes that he's doing his best to hide, as if gently poking through his pretense of wanting to hide, "You've assembled the puppy's home with your own hands, and now you're going to leave it to me alone?"

"But ......" the corner of the eye of a fleeting warm touch is particularly obvious, Lin Jian voice mute uncharacteristic, changed for a while, only to complete the words, "But do you not mind? I stay here, every day in front of your eyes, you do not awkward, not ...... hate it?"

He has been such an obstinate and stubborn child since he was a child, even though Shen Ke has already made his words so clear, he still paranoidly wants an answer, even if it's not true, but as long as Shen Ke said it, he believes it, and he can persuade himself to make himself feel at ease.

"I ......" Shen Ke like to take him no way, pause for a moment, had to compromise, lost a smile, "Lin Jian, this society is like a big garden, inside the flowers, jasmine roses peonies, no matter what kind of flower or grass you are, whether it is rich and fragrant can attract bees and butterflies wave dance, these are not important, the important thing is to do a good job of yourself. No matter what kind of flower or grass you are, whether you can attract bees and butterflies to dance with your fragrance, these are not important, the important thing is to do a good job for yourself."

"I respect every person's character formation, every gender orientation, and every person's trajectory in life as much as I respect the naturalness of every flower, tree, and plant - treating outsiders as such, let alone you."

Be yourself.

Not to mention you.

Lin Jian was shocked and speechless, and when he looked up suddenly, he saw Shen Ke raise his hand, gently rubbing the top of his hair, and said with a warm sigh:

"You've got all the puppies back for you, so don't go away, okay?"