He kissed on his lips.

The result of a hangover is waking up the next morning with a headache.

There was a soft touch on his fingertips, with a slight dampness, Lin Jian opened his sore and dry eyes, slowly turned his head, and saw a dog's head enlarged - Pi Dan was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head tilted, happily spitting out his tongue at him.

Lin Jian's still slightly dazed gaze met it for a few seconds, and suddenly came to his senses.

Last night, hangover, Shen Ke, boarding pass.

Fragmented silhouettes traveled through his mind, finally landing on the image he'd had before he closed his eyes.

Shen Ke inadvertently pried into his long-buried secret, and with the torture of alcohol, Lin Jian almost lost control and lost his temper last night.

After a long period of silence, Shen Ke just helped him to lie down on the bed, saying, "The most important thing now is to get a good night's sleep, and we'll talk about it tomorrow when you're awake."

Lin Jian looked at him with bloodshot eyes.

Shen Ke, helpless, finally sighed and gently nudged his thin red eyelids with his fingertips, whispering in an almost soothing tone, "Close your eyes and sleep, be good."

Be nice.

Warm and deep like water tone, Lin Jian was burned by alcohol disintegration of all the will of a spring, so he drank hemlock, obediently closed his eyes.

That sleep went straight through.

So where's the guy at ...... who said "wake up and talk" last night?

Lin Jian covered his forehead from the bed to get up, do not care about the still hidden throbbing pain in the temple, but also too late to change the body that is still stained with last night's wine old clothes, shuffling slippers out of the room.

Sunlight filtered in through the drawn curtains, the small living room was peaceful and clean in the early morning, Lin Jian stood in the bedroom doorway with a pale face, squinting slightly as he looked around, noticing that the couch was cushioned with a folded blanket, as if to imply that someone had spent last night here, but otherwise the room was empty.

There wasn't even a crease left in the couch cushions.

At this moment, Lin Jian looked at the room that had not left a single trace, and could not say whether he should be lost or happy.

He stood alone in the living room for a moment, then walked over to the couch and picked up the blanket, placing it back on the bed in his bedroom, and then walked back over to the floor beside the bed, staring down at the suitcase that was still four sizes open.

The brown box that hid his secret that no one could know had been fastened and placed in its original place in the suitcase, and Lin Jian stared expressionlessly for half a minute before bending down and taking a pair of housecoats out of the suitcase, turning to the bathroom, and resuming a hot shower.

With his clothes changed and the sporadic odor of alcohol washed away by the hot water, Lin Jian thought to himself as he stood in front of the bathroom mirror brushing his teeth that maybe this was for the best.

Even though last night was a difficult situation, Shen Ke, in his own customary way, calmly and rationally caught him in a state of disarray and preserved the last vestiges of his decency.

As for the "wake up and talk" ...... What else is there to say?

Pretending nothing happened and continuing to whitewash was not what he had hoped for last night.

But in that case, what is he falling short of alone?

Don't think about it, Lin Jian admonished herself mentally as she spat out the mouthwash in her mouth.

Like the couch that Shen Ke slept on, if that person wanted to, he or she could even take it in stride without leaving a ripple.

Lin Jian rubbed his hair and returned to the living room, first went to change the water for Pi Dan to add rations, and then disinfected his sleeping pad from inside to outside, after finishing this pass, the time is exactly seven thirty.

After drunkenness, the stomach and intestines need the most comfort, Lin Jian originally wanted to go to the kitchenette to get something to eat, but just got up from the sofa, the foyer side suddenly came from the movement, and in the next second, the door of the apartment was opened from the outside with a key.

Lin Jian appeared briefly stunned.

This bewilderment slowly turned into astonishment, especially as Shen Ke walked in, carrying a packed breakfast in his hand.

I can't believe he didn't leave?

Seeing Lin Jian standing in the living room in a fresh outfit, Shen Ke also froze for a moment, then curved the ends of his eyes and said, "I thought you would sleep a little longer."

Lin Jian stood there, looking at the person who seemed to have appeared out of thin air, feeling his heart beating from slow to fast, and then slowly falling back to its original position a second before his heart rate was about to go out of whack.

"...... No." Lin Jian pursed his dry lips and said, "Drinking wine isn't a sleeping pill, so how can you sleep for so long."

"That's right." Shen Ke seemed to naturally agree with this statement of his, and then asked in a relaxed tone, "Is it hard? Come over and eat something."

"You ......" Lin Jian stood unmoving, his gaze shifting from the packed lunch box on Shen Ke's hand back to his face, his brows unconsciously knitting, "So... . you went to buy breakfast early in the morning?"

"Or else?" Shen Ke glanced at him with a slightly raised eyebrow, and with some surprise raised the object in his hand at him, asking back in amusement, "Is it that obvious?"

I thought you were gone.

Lin Jian replied in his heart.

"You drank so much last night, but you don't have a bad stomach today?" Shen Ke said as he walked towards the kitchen, "I can't eat what I've made, so I had to go out and buy some flowers to offer to the Buddha - why are you still standing there, come and get the chopsticks."

"Oh." Lin Jian, like waking up from a dream, breathed a deep sigh of relief and went to the kitchen to take out the dishes and set them up.

The two stood at the table and set the packed breakfast on the table in order, so far, the atmosphere was quite calm and relaxed, and there was no conceivable awkwardness or embarrassment.

Also right.

Shen Ke has never, and will never, embarrass him, past or present.

The appetizing millet Liaoshen congee is accompanied by freshly steamed lingonberry rolls, and the small dishes are light, fresh, tender and crispy, making them appetizing to eat.

The two sat opposite each other, quietly and silently with their own breakfast, and when Lin Jian had drunk a small cup of porridge, Shen Ke put down the bowl and suddenly asked, "Is it still hard?"

Lin Jian looked up at him in the bright morning sun and said, "Much better."

"Uh-huh." Shen Ke completely put down his chopsticks, his look and tone were calm, "Completely sober?"

Lin Jian was slightly startled, then gave a small nod, "Awake."

"Good." Shen Ke suddenly said, "Then let's talk."

Lin Jian couldn't help but be struck by this scene, and this phrase "talk" seemed to take him back to his childhood, to the days when he was raised by Shen Ke, and there were many times when Shen Ke said to him as a child, "Let's talk" in the same calm and gentle manner.

What to talk about? Shen Ke has his own set of principles and theories of behavior and handling, and in the face of the sea of life and the big world, he has his own unique insights and style. Since he was a child, the attitudes Lin Jian heard and learned from him all originated from this person.

Do not be alarmed, do not be confused, do not be anxious and do not be impatient, and walk steadily and make a long way.

And years later, as the two men sat in the soft morning sun, Shen Ke said, "Let's talk.

Lin Jian stretched a paper towel and wiped the corner of his mouth, then clutched the thin piece of paper in the palm of his hand and asked in a low voice, "What's the talk about?"

Shen Ke stilled, his gaze moving away from his vaguely white knuckles and dropping to his face, still pale from the wine, and said, "Talk about me and you."

Lin Jian did not say a word, a heart was pulled up and down by this gentle "I and you", falling in mid-air without landing.

"If we hadn't met ...... last time at the bidding meeting," Shen Ke said this and frowned very lightly, as if it was an assumption that didn't make people too happy, and after a while he continued, "then, are you Are you really not going to come back, nor are you going to have any more involvement with the Shen family?"

"No." Lin Jian thought for a moment and said honestly, "I didn't think of it that way."

"Good." Shen Ke asked again, "If that's the case, when are you planning on coming back?"

"Over ten years."

This answer came out of Lin Jian's mouth almost without thinking, and after saying it, he stopped abruptly.

Because Shen Ke's face changed slightly.

Almost as soon as he said it, Shen Ke decoded the meaning behind the phrase "ten years".

Ten years.

Lin Jian is hedging his bets with time.

Shen Ke raised him for ten years, so he's leaving for ten years.

Ten years ago, you always treated me as if I was that child you raised.

Then I also use ten years to flush out the memories, use time to repay time, when these ten years have passed, and then stand in front of you again, is it that the way you look at me can change slightly?

Shen Ke looked at the youth across from him and sighed deeply. Last night that huge invisible sourness once again roamed up to the heart, like a blunt knife, pulling back and forth on the softest spot of the heart, flooding it with an unspeakable dull and heavy pain.

What, so stupid?

"You ......"

"Don't ask." Shen Ke had just uttered, but was interrupted by the life in front of him.

Lin Jian hung his head and closed his eyes for a moment before raising his gaze and looking flatly at Shen Ke, suppressing the pain that he could barely hide under his eyes, "No more talking, can you stop asking?"

With such a self-absorbed tone, Shen Ke's brows knit up little by little.

"I told you last night." Lin Jian swallowed hard to hide the rasp in his voice, "Just leave me alone, okay?"

At this moment, time was stretched out indefinitely. Lin Jian stared at Shen Ke across the street, and an uncontrollable sadness welled up in his heart.

The man was always gentle and sensible, always poised and self-restrained, but at the same time, always unattainable, gazing at everyone around him with equal indifference and downcast eyes.

He is gentle and calm, but loves no one.

It's like, tiptoeing hard and reaching out, you can't reach that cold sun.

Warm and cold.

"Don't mind me, just leave it, okay?" Lin Jian hung his head slightly and asked again.

Looking from Shen Ke's perspective, one could see a sharp, taut line drawn across his slender neck and shoulders, like a bow being pulled back by someone's strength, the strings were tough and strong, arguing into a stubborn and obstinate stance.

Shen Ke's voice was a bit lower than usual, he called his name softly "Lin Jian, look up."

Lin Jian didn't move, and after a long time, Shen Ke realized that the breath he had been holding seemed to dissipate, and the lines of his shoulders slumped and collapsed, as if he had been holding on for a long time and had suddenly lost his strength.

After a long time, Lin Jian finally raised his head, looked straight at him and asked, "Or, what do you want me to do?" Without waiting or needing Shen Ke's answer, he spoke a little faster and continued, "Whatever you want, just say it."

"It's okay to never see each other again, or for me to leave again and not show up in front of you."

"Just say it."

After a long moment, Shen Ke said, "I never thought of it that way."

"Good." Lin Jian nodded, the blood under his eyes seemed a little heavier but not watery, after all, he never shed tears in front of this man, "What about the rest, I'll do it as soon as you say it, but-"

Lin Jian looked directly at him, and in one word, so light but so heavy: "There is only one thing that won't work, and it's out of your hands."

For a moment, Shen Ke's eyes wavered silently.

One thing. What is it?

It's this thing about liking you.

I have no control over it, and it's equally out of your hands.

Because liking you is something I do alone.

It has nothing to do with you, it has nothing to do with anyone.

Count me as a proud man, but I am willing to be a prisoner of this love affair.

Only willing to submit to love.

Shen Ke was silent for a long time, just looking at the youth in front of him silently with his dark gaze.

Face pale and thin, eyebrows cold and sharp, such a detached and lonely Lin Jian, but will use the most pious and humble tone to say like, with self-abandonment and even self-loathing posture, throw a decades-long, completely unable to see the end of the secret love.

In a trance, Shen Ke remembered the words he had asked himself countless times last night--

Shen Ke, what have you done?

There was a very slight sound coming from the side, and after a moment, the sunlight on his side was blocked by a tall figure, Lin Jian raised his head in fear and looked at Shen Ke who came to his side.

The two gazes collided and entangled in mid-air, and after a few seconds, Shen Ke suddenly raised his hand and placed his palm on the top of his head, rubbing it very gently twice.

"Don't be sad." Shen Ke's voice was like the palm of a hand rubbing the top of his hair, warm, deep and gentle, with a soothing and indulgent force, saying, "Lin Jian, I don't care about you, you can be at ease and do as you please."

Your loving kindness is always precious and free.

*

After Shen Ke left that day, Lin Jian didn't see him for a long time.

First, the groundbreaking of the city park project, he and the project team need to enter the site every day to investigate the site, in addition to the start of the project, there will be countless reports on the program and progress reports need to be written, the original limited time and suffered infinite pressure, continuous overtime once again became the norm.

It's good to know that such a hectic work schedule can leave no time for anything else, like the perfect camouflage, and that exhaustion counteracts all the fantasies of being alone in the dead of night.

After that night's "drinking game", Lin Jian expected to be greeted with mixed feelings when he returned to the project team, but after a few days of peace and quiet, he realized that he might have been overly concerned.

No one except Fang Jingwei seems to know that he was taken away by Shen Ke that night.

After witnessing his unusual relationship with Shen's big boss, Fang Jingwei did not question him privately, but only asked him when they bumped into each other by chance in a late-night overtime session when they went to the pantry to make coffee, "Did you know Shen's Chairman Shen before?"

Lin Jian didn't try to avoid it, but he didn't try to explain it in detail, he just said, "Sort of, I lived in his house for a while when I was a kid."

"No wonder." Fang Jingwei smiled in relief with his coffee cup in hand, "Looks like I misheard the other night and that's why I got the wrong idea, so that's how it is."

"Misheard what?" Lin Jian asked, turning back as he stepped out of the pantry.

Fang Jingwei laughed: "That night when Chairman Shen said 'my people', I was secretly surprised and thought ...... Now I think it was because I was drunk and didn't really hear what he said. He said, may be "my family people", is my misunderstanding."

"Oh, so." Lin Jian was stunned for a moment, but he had no recollection of what Fang Jingwei had just described, probably because he had indeed drunk too much that night, so much so that he only remembered Shen Ke taking him away out of the sky, and did not remember a single thing about what he had said at that time.

"And ......" Fang Jingwei hesitated a little, and then surprisingly held up his coffee cup and slightly owed towards him, apologizing, "I drank too much wine that night, my words and behavior may have been a little out of line, if there is an offense to you place, I hope you don't mind, I can apologize, sincerely."

Lin Jian's face cleared up a little, and after a moment of silence, he also slightly raised the coffee cup in his hand and said in a faint voice, "The leader of the group is overstating his case."

It was lightly revealed and has not been mentioned since.

However, as the project progresses, Lin Jian has to go abroad with the project team and the material procurement department of the contractor to buy a batch of bulk materials. Traveling abroad is not a big deal, but this way, PiYan will have no one to take care of him and become a left-behind furry son.

After thinking about it, Lin Jian decided to ask Shen Ke if it would be convenient for him to pick up Pi Dan during his business trip, and if the other party was busy with business and could not get out of it recently, he could also send him there.

The date of the trip was set for two days later, and that night Lin Jian took a shower, stood on the small balcony of her bedroom, and hesitated before dialing the number.

It was already late fall in the north, the night wind was very cool, Lin Jian held the phone and waited for a long time, until the phone was not answered automatically hang up.

Her wrists, exposed beyond the cuffs of her robe, were cold from the wind, and Lin Jian stared at her cell phone screen for a moment, then hit replay a second before it went black.

And this time, the wait wasn't too long and the call was answered, except that the person talking on the other side wasn't Shen Ke.

"Hello, I am Chairman Shen's assistant, may I ask who you are?" Assistant Xu asked politely.

Lin Jian's heart gave a sudden jolt for no reason.

He called Shen Ke's private number, and Shen Ke would never let his assistant or secretary keep his cell phone with this number.

"Hello, my name is Lin Jian." Lin Jian English frowned, his tone was still calm, but the slightly accelerated speed of his speech betrayed his inner turmoil at this moment, "May I ask ...... Shen Ke if it's convenient to answer the phone? I'd like to talk to you."

Probably no one had ever called Shen Ke by name like this in front of his assistant, Assistant Xu visibly froze for a moment, but this was his boss's personal cell phone after all, he still said rigorously and politely, "It's not very convenient right now, so if you have something to say, I can relay it for you."

Lin Jian The uneasiness in his heart increased steeply, and he opened his mouth to ask directly, "What is he doing, and why is it inconvenient?"

"Uh ......" Assistant Xu hesitated, "this ......"

"I'm calling to ask him to pick up the skinny egg back." Lin Jian insights the other party's hesitation and nonchalantly throws out the killer.

If Assistant Xu doesn't know who Lin Jian is, it's understandable, but the owner's beloved dog that he has kept by his side for so many years, that's something he's all too familiar with, and now this person is actually saying ......

Assistant Xu dared not slacken off, and with a stern look, he honestly said, "Sorry, Chairman Shen may not be too convenient to travel recently, so ...... you give me an address, and I will go over to pick up the leather eggs tomorrow, can I?"

"What happened to him?" Lin Jian's fingers on his cell phone tightened abruptly.

"...... Well, Chairman Shen Shen he ......"

"You say." Lin Jian sank his breath and said dryly, "He's my little uncle, there's nothing inconvenient to tell me."

So it's like this-- Assistant Xu was like an amnesty and took a long breath, "Chairman Shen had a little accident yesterday, his left leg was injured, and he just finished the surgery this morning, so... ..."

"Address." Lin Jian interrupted him quickly, and as he spoke, he had already run quickly from the balcony back to his room, rummaging through his suitcase to pull out a set of clothes for the outing, "Tell me which hospital it's at, and I'll be there right away!"

Late at night, Lin Jian sat in the back and thought a lot as the car sped along the highway.

At first it was thought that since he was going to live over here for a long time, he might as well acquire a mobility scooter, lest it would be inconvenient to go out when this temporary situation arises again; after all, the driver's master navigation showed that it would take three and a half hours to get there, and if he drove himself, he might be able to save more than half an hour's time.

That way we can see Shen Ke sooner.

I also thought that the late fall in the north was really cold, and I should have added an extra jacket or coat when I went out, instead of rushing out the door in pants and a shirt like this.

Just to see Shen Ke earlier.

Still thinking to Shen Ke's identity now, which time the official travel is not front and back embracing many cars open road, how this time so inch, will be in the peak road car accident, also don't know that his side of the group of bodyguards assistant secretary driver, is how to eat the king's salary loyal to the king's work.

And all he wants now is to see Shen Ke sooner.

As the car cut through the dense night air and sped forward, Lin Jian leaned back in his seat and breathed deeply.

Faster, faster.

More than three children, the network car in the city center hospital gate stop, Lin Jian re-stood in more than five years away from the south of the city land, there is no wave and joy, got out of the car straight to the ward building ran.

It was one o'clock in the morning, and the dew was heavy. Lin Jian, dressed in a single coat, stood on the floor of the intensive care unit, wrapped in the moist cold air.

The entire floor of the ward entrance was unusually quiet, with only the guide sign at the nurse's station and the safety exit light on.

Lin Jian walked through the empty corridor to the door of one of the innermost wards and raised his hand to knock gently on the door.

The caretaker and the life assistant on duty tonight had not yet rested, and when the two heard a knock at the door, they opened it gingerly to see a clean but pale youth standing in the doorway.

The living assistant was notified in advance by Assistant Xu, but still confirmed with him, "Are you ...... Mr. Lin?"

"Lin Jian." Lin Jian, his body bubbling with cold air, slightly nodded his head, his eyes crossed the two people in front of him and fell onto the wide hospital bed in the innermost bedroom of the ward, the ward was only lit with a sleep light, so it was impossible to see the face of the person lying on the bed, and he could only roughly see Shen Ke's silhouette of his body shape , "How is he ...... doing?"

The life assistant smiled and made way for the doorway, guiding Lin Jian inside, and answered in a very soft voice, "The left leg tibia was fractured, and the platform shifted, but the surgery was successful, and the doctor said that after recuperating and carefully rehabbing and exercising, there would be no after-effects."

"Uh-huh." Lin Jian nodded his head and walked slowly to the hospital bed, lowering his eyes to look at the person lying on the bed with his eyes closed in deep sleep.

Only then did the cold air that had been smothered in his chest for hours, running side to side and sticking to his heart and lungs, finally and steadily escape.

Lin Jian sat down beside Shen Ke's bed and looked at the person in front of him for an instant.

It should be that the medication used in the infusion contains sleeping and analgesic ingredients, so Shen Ke was sleeping very deeply at this time.

Even after the operation in the afternoon, Shen Ke, in deep sleep, was only a little pale, but her look was not at all lousy.

He was always the subdued, warm, reserved gentleman.

Shen Ke has one arm in a hospital gown resting on the covers and a lag shot, and an EKG detector on the cabinet next to him shows a regular and steady pattern.

Lin Jian's breathing became very, very light. He reached out his hand and gently touched Shen Ke's wrist with his knuckles, and it felt cold to the touch, so Lin Jian gently lifted up his palm and put it under the thin blanket.

Perhaps the silent blackness of the night spawned a solitude that magnified the unknown, and Lin Jian hesitated for a second not to draw out the hand that was folded with his.

It was the first time he shook his hand.

The intensive care unit in which Shen Ke was staying was a very large suite with three rooms and one living room. In addition to the largest room in which Shen Ke was staying, there were two other lounges. At the end of the night, the living assistant and the caregiver could not resist Lin Jian's insistence to stay behind, so they had to go to rest, leaving them alone in the room.

After a long, long time, Lin Jian's hand hidden under the quilt curled up slightly and wrapped Shen Ke's fingertips with his palm from the bottom up.

"Liar." Lin Jian muttered in a very soft voice as he looked at the person lying on the bed.

"When I left back then, how did you promise me?" Lin Jian broke off and muttered to himself, "You said you would have a good, good life and take care of yourself ...... liar."

When no one answered, he smiled a little to himself.

"Get well soon." Lin Jian murmured.

No one answered.

Lin Jian's line of sight always fell on Shen Ke's face, roving over the crest of his handsome eyebrows, the high bridge of his nose, the nice shape of his lips, and finally landing on those tightly closed eyes.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" Lin Jian asked softly, but his voice was hoarse, "Can I do it for you?"

Since he was a child, Lin Jian's impression is that Shen Ke has never been invulnerable, and that he is quiet when he is faced with big issues. No matter how difficult a problem he encounters, he will never be disorganized or swayed by his emotions. This is the first time Lin Jian has seen Shen Ke, who is so quiet that he is a bit fragile.

As the minutes ticked by, Lin Jian stared at the face near him until his eyes grew sore and watery. Eventually, he closed his eyes and moved slightly closer to him in the deserted hospital room in the middle of the night.

Consider it an indulgence. You forgive me.

Noses intertwined, Shen Ke's breathing was very light, and the usual cedar wood scent around him was covered by the smell of disinfectant, but looking down at his near face, Lin Jian still found it hard to suppress her dizziness.

Years of dormant, long ago too thick for words emotions surged up to the heart at this moment, turning into silent, dark waves that surged and pounded the sanity over and over again.

Lin Jian held this position for about five long minutes before finally letting go of his obsession for the first time in the depths of the night.

He kissed him on the lips.

Breaths mingled in a single touch.

So careful and fearful was this, that he even dared to use only the darkness of the night as a cover.

Obviously, the long-lasting greed and obsession had been self-satisfied, but Lin Jian fell steeply into a greater and deeper self-loathing.

One kiss and he was gone, and he didn't even dare to look into Shen Ke's tightly closed eyes again.

"Little uncle ......" Lin Jian lay down on the side of his bed, burying his whole face in the crook of his arm for a long time, and murmured in a hoarse voice.

"What the hell am I supposed to do ......"