"Have you ever had an urge for me, ever?"

On the first morning of the New Year, Lin Jian woke up in Shen Ke's arms.

The blackout curtains on the floor-to-ceiling windows of the master bedroom were thick and heavy, and when they were completely closed, not a single ray of light could penetrate into the room. So much so that Lin Jian, in the half-minute it took to open her eyes, looked at the dimly lit ceiling, and for a moment she couldn't tell what day and night it was.

After a while, his eyes gradually adapted to the dark environment, Lin Jian consciousness is still a few drowsiness, he half-lidded eyes, slowly relaxing the stiff shoulders, just want to sit up from the bed, palm down a support, anomalous warm touch, the whole person instantly awake.

At that moment, his mind rewinds and he finally remembers where he is.

The neck pillow is not a sleep pillow but someone's shoulder, and the body cover is not the guest bedroom's silk quilt but someone's new lightweight double goose down quilt from a year ago, as for someone ......

Lin Jian was stunned and inclined his head, raised his eyelids to raise his sight, and saw Shen Ke's superior side line, and further up, a pair of lightly closed eyes.

On a normal day, the look that comes out of those eyes is mostly gentle and calm, so much so that Shen Ke's whole temperament seems to be warm and calm, elegant and relaxed.

But in fact, when these eyes are closed, Shen Ke's whole demeanor shows a few points of coldness and indifference, like taking off the layer of warmth and warmth of the outer layer, only to reveal a sense of reality with a little bit of rejection.

At this moment, one of Shen Ke's arms rested on Lin Jian's waist, and Lin Jian's whole body was gathered in his embrace, a large area of warm skin pressed against each other, under his palm was Shen Ke's sharp and lean muscle lines, and in his ears was the sound of his steady but powerful heartbeat.

He is like a flat boat, drifting for a long time, at this time on the shore.

Lin Jian lay on his side in Shen Ke's arms, surrounded by the quiet morning hours, he could hear his own heartbeat, from slow to fast, and then slowly, from fast tend to slow, and finally, one by one, to return to a calm and peaceful frequency.

Lin Jian blinked for a moment and slowly raised his hand, stretching out one finger, tracing Shen Ke's good-looking eyebrows through the air, the fingertip sliding down, skimming over the high bridge of his nose in the void, and finally landing on top of the peak of his lips.

This man, this mouth, had laughed at him and favored him, had coaxed him and taught him, and now ...... had kissed him.

Lin Jian's hand lost its strength when his thoughts changed, and he managed to stop his finger tips before they touched Shen Ke, and before he could exhale a long breath of false alarm, he heard a low and indistinct laughter coming from his ears.

Lin Jian raised his eyes suddenly, only to see Shen Ke's drooping eyelashes twitch a few times before opening them.

"......" Lin Jian put down the finger hanging in front of Shen Ke's eyes and said as naturally as possible, "Awake?"

"Uh-huh." The man who had just opened his eyes still had a hint of a fuzzy and hazy mute in his voice, and chuckled, "I'm afraid someone's arm is going to cramp up if they don't wake up."

Lin Jian returned to his senses for a second, frowned and asked in a low voice, "Are you pretending to be asleep?"

"Not exactly pretending to be asleep." Shen Ke circled the arm that Lin Jian was resting on, smoothly scooping the person closer to his arms, and warmly argued, "Let's just say that I woke up, but not completely."

Lin Jian: "......"

If I was still eight, I might have believed it.

"First day of the new year, don't frown." Shen Ke's fingertips slid swiftly from Lin Jian's eyebrows, flattening the crease between his eyebrows, "You're so angry about waking up, haven't you slept enough, why don't you take a nap with me again?"

Perhaps it was because he thought it was still early, or perhaps it was Shen Ke's low, muffled voice falling into his ears that was particularly hypnotic, or ...... or no reason at all, just because Lin Jian was being held in his arms at the moment, the whole person was completely relaxed, and it so happened that the time was gentle and safe, so he simply followed Shen Ke's words and closed his eyes again. He simply followed Shen Ke's words and closed his eyes again.

"...... Then don't get up either." He commanded in a vague tone as he buried the side of his face towards Shen Ke's neck.

"Good." Shen Ke gently rubbed her palm over the top of his hair twice and agreed, "I'm not up, so sleep in peace."

Funny enough, two people who have always been self-disciplined to the point of being a bit strict, just really muddled through the first day of the year, and had the peace of mind to take another very full night's sleep.

When I opened my eyes again, it was already more than ten o'clock in the morning, Lin Jian moved his arm that was a little numb from sleep, and heard the person beside him ask: "Are you really awake this time?"

"...... Well." Lin Jian was first stunned for a moment, then afterward realized that he was somewhat embarrassed, "You really didn't get up ah ...... delayed you?"

"On the first day of the year, sleeping with you is the biggest thing." Shen Ke chuckled softly, "Where else would it matter."

Stay with you, sleep, it matters.

These words fell on the ears of Lin Jian, who had just woken up from sleep and whose thinking was still a bit chaotic, became a bit intriguing and unusual, and at the moment, even more unusual ...... was he himself.

"Want to get up?" Shen Ke's deep and slow voice fell on his ears, and his warm breath sprinkled behind Lin Jian's ears along with the sound of his speech, whereupon a thin layer of red quickly surfaced on the originally fair skin at a speed visible to the naked eye.

Lin Jian: "......"

Sorry, can't really get up.

Lin Jian did not answer or move, but only slightly inclined his head so that the side of his face and Shen Ke's heart were slightly separated by a small distance, and then, with a very small amplitude, very slightly, he slowly bent his legs and bowed a little.

Lin Jian 欲盖弥彰："You get up first, I ...... will lie down again."

Shen Ke was really about to get up, but when she heard him suddenly say this, she instead paused for a moment and looked over with downcast eyes.

Lin Jian: "......"

It's no use looking. You can't move, you just can't move.

Shen Ke realized it almost instantly.

He looked at Lin Jian with a calm and clean gaze, without any hint of ridicule or mockery.

But the warmer and softer the look, the more tormented and burdened Lin Jian felt.

He had gone from a secret teenage heart to a clear mind, and it seemed that he was the only one who had been entangled and entangled in mundane desires and greed for such a long time.

Even if he was already with Shen Ke, and the two of them slept together all night and woke up against each other, those hard feelings and obsessions were still his alone.

Shen Ke is always light and breezy, always light and breezy, as if untainted by the mundane guests in the sky, those dust and desire or distractions, wind and moon greed, he has never been in this person, peeping the slightest.

Lust is young and vivid, Lin Jian is real and honest, but despite this, it's impossible not to be ashamed of oneself.

Why?

On what grounds?

Is all the tenderness and honeyed love nothing more than a cloud over the eyes, a false prosperity?

Or perhaps, in Shen Ke gentle and meticulous accompaniment, in fact, is still young care sheltered, even if it has been the youth of his own, in his eyes is still that once a teenager, so the embrace or kisses, too,...... he has never really moved.

"What are you thinking about without speaking?" Shen Ke asked when he saw that Lin Jian was frowning, but his face was getting uglier and uglier.

And that one sentence became the spark that ignited the fire of heavenly thunder.

Lin Jian slowly lifted his eyelids and looked at the person with deep eyes in front of him, and suddenly asked, "Shen Ke, let me ask you something."

His voice was a little tight and unnatural, and Shen Ke was slightly startled, "What is it?"

Lin Jian took a deep breath and said plainly, "Have you ever had an urge for me?"

Shen Ke probably didn't expect him to ask it so unabashedly and directly, and froze for a moment.

"Speak." Lin Jian held back the heat that rose up in his side, and looked askance at Shen Ke as he pursued the question.

"...... You asked when?" After a long while, Shen Ke sighed softly and asked in a warm, rhetorical voice.

"Once ...... back in the day." Lin Jian added.

Shen Ke didn't answer immediately, but slightly tightened the arm holding the person, and only after a few seconds, sighed and said in a Zhou Zheng and serious tone, "If you're asking about five years ago, then there really wasn't one."

Five years ago, or even earlier, no matter how vivid and adorable Lin Jian was as a teenager, to Shen Ke, he was just the child he had raised.

He would not, and could not, be half as amorous in the face of the teenager who had grown up in the center of his hand.

Even though Lin Jian made his heart clear before he left, all Shen Ke could think about was his heartache and nothing else.

Lin Jian also thought that this would be the answer.

He knew Shen Ke too well to feel any sense of surprise or loss.

This person acts seemingly never wantonly and casually, but in his bones he is really a windy and clear gentleman's style.

So no, it's only normal.

"And ...... what happened after that?" Lin Jian asked.

"Are you ready to ask the question to the end?" Shen Ke smiled and pecked Lin Jian's reddened ear, a hint of hopeless indulgence in his voice, "When was it later, is there a definite point in time?"

"No, you think for yourself." Lying under a blanket with Shen Ke discussing this, especially in his ...... own state, Lin Jian has been embarrassed to the extreme, but the more embarrassed this person is, his face is on the contrary, the colder it is, instead it seems to be a pretense of hard bluffing.

"Okay, I'll think about it myself." Shen Ke let him lust for the truth and didn't break it down, instead he really did look like he was seriously thinking about it before answering, "I don't want to lie to you, but I really didn't think anything of it when we first met."

He looked at Lin Jian as if he were a family member who had been wandering around for many years, and all he could think of was how to keep the person who had a hard time returning home, and then not letting him leave.

"That--"

"But I can't help but admit it." Shen Ke's tone remains calm and gentle when he says such things, unhurried and graceful, "It did happen after I was with you, or ...... a little earlier."

This time it was Lin Jian's turn to be incredulous: "...... When?"

Shen Ke helplessly confessed and laughed, "When I hurt my leg, you lived at home to supervise my rehab, and once when I was taking a shower, I accidentally spilled the body wash, and you rushed into the bathroom that ...... time remember?"

How could Lin Jian not remember the situation of being so humiliated to the point of extreme desperation?

But at that time, he was only concerned about his own sweat and shame, and did not pay attention to Shen Ke s demeanor ...... No, at that time, Shen Ke acted obviously tolerant and gentle, could it be--.

"...... You didn't study Landscape Architecture in college, it was Eastern Ninjutsu, right?" Lin Jian looked up incredulously and asked him.

Shen Ke was first stunned, and then outright amused.

"...... stupid or not." Shen Ke laughed enough in Lin Jian cold as frosty gaze, did not resist flexing his fingers and pinched his face, slowed down, and then asked, "Wanted to know all told you, now it is convenient to get up?"

Lin Jian silently took a few deep breaths, but realized that ...... the effect was still not very obvious.

It's hard to calm him down when he's being held in Shen Ke's arms all the time, isn't it?

"I ......" Lin Jian frowned with a look of self-loathing and said in a hushed voice, "I'm going to the bathroom for a moment."

After saying that, he was about to stagger away and get up from Shen Ke's side.

Unexpectedly, just as the side of his face left the hollow of Shen Ke's shoulder, he was yanked back.

"Lin Jian." Shen Ke raised his hand, rubbed his palm against his vaguely hot neck, and whispered soothingly, "No need to go to the bathroom, I'll help you."

"......"

The corner of the goose down comforter slipped noiselessly onto the carpet, rubbing rippling folds into the smooth silk sheets, and Lin Jian, lying on her side in bed, felt hot in a trance, even though the room was on fresh air circulation.

Not the hot sunny kind of heat, but hot flashes that come out of your bones.

He bowed down and lay on his side, Shen Ke's arm that was originally behind his neck changed its position and became half-encircled around his shoulders, and his whole face was buried in Shen Ke's arms, and his moist nostrils fell on the underside of Shen Ke's shoulder sockets, making that small piece of originally fair skin color slightly hot and reddened.

The robe is loose, but also in the early grinding between the four open, intoxicated, Lin Jian half-lidded eyes, suddenly saw Shen Ke's other hand, is hidden in the side of the side of the snow-white bathrobe on the hem of the robe.

"......"

Those were the hands that had held him as a child, taught him to ride horses and shoot arrows, and play chess and write.

And now it was leading him, into the boundless wind and moon.

Lin Jian closed his eyes with all his might, but it was difficult to resist the tremendous mind-blowing shock of this realization.

At that moment, Shen Ke's eyes fell back from his long, straight, tense legs to his face, and then he lowered his head and kissed the corner of his lips, which were pursed into a straight line.

Lost in thought, drunk--

Lin Jian abruptly dispersed the force on his shoulders and back, and like a soundless and pure spring, he poured into Shen Ke's arms in a sinuous manner.

His long eyelashes were stained with obvious water vapor, and the light of his eyes was chaotic and out of focus, after a long while of slowing down, his mind finally cleared up half a bit, and the first thing he did was to pull Shen Ke's wrists, yanked the person over, tilted his head up, and kissed the other side's lip peaks with his spit-rolled lips.

There was another cloud of confusion and bewilderment.

After a long time, until Lin Jian's disorganized breath gradually stabilized, Shen Ke rubbed the tip of his nose against the beads of sweat falling from his temples and whispered, "Go take a shower."

Until now, Shen Ke's voice tone is still smooth and soft, just added a touch of low raspy traces, it is also a few points of this faint mute meaning, so that Lin Jian clearly realize that just that a entangled ambiguity, not just his own love dark surge.

"You ......" Lin Jian Eyebrow corner of the corner of the eye there are still residual traces of lust, the misty dampness of the mist has only faded a little from the bottom of the eyes, when he opened his mouth, his voice was still wrapped in a tide of heat that was difficult to ignore, " ...... you don't use it?"

Shen Ke looked down at him for a moment, twirling a trail of sweat away from his neck with his fingertips, and smiled softly, "Not today."

Lin Jian's eyes slowly dropped, but the robe on Shen Ke's body was so tightly covered that it didn't reveal anything, he suspiciously frowned, thinking, "Could it be that the difference in body reaction is also extraordinarily pronounced after a difference of twelve years?

Is that the difference between being 23 and 35?

Plus, Shen Ke hurt his leg a while back, and the surgery must have hurt, so--

It's not, quite, the line ...... is it?

"At this time of the day, what are you so absorbed in thinking about?" Shen Ke couldn't help but ask in amusement when she saw him frowning in contemplation.

"Oh ...... nothing." Lin Jian felt that some things are better not to get to the bottom of the matter, moreover, the line or not ...... he does not particularly care, so it is even more unnecessary to say it to add pressure to Shen Ke.

Something that is there - great, but if it's not - well, then we'll figure it out later.

"Go and take a shower." Shen Ke urged with a smile, "It's going to be past lunchtime if we don't keep going."

Lin Jian pursed her lips and gathered her robe and rose from the bed, walking barefoot to the bathroom door when she suddenly stopped, gripping the doorknob and turned back to call out, "Shen Ke."

"Huh?" Shen Ke was bending down to remove the already unforgiving sheets, ready to take them to the laundry room for dry-cleaning in a few minutes, when he heard the words and turned to look at the person in the bathroom doorway, "What's wrong?"

Lin Jian frowned slightly and deliberated on the wording for a long time, feeling that although this matter was a bit difficult to talk about, he still needed to make his attitude clear.

He hesitated for a moment and chose not to poke the key points directly, but a flexible euphemism: "There are some things that you don't need to be too hung up on, and I ...... don't particularly value them."

Shen Ke : "...... hmm?"

"I mean ......" Lin Jian really don't know how to say it better, finally grabbed a handful of hair, made a gesture haphazardly, added: "I can actually cooperate with all of them, and for, ahem --on the location or something, I don't have any obsession, if you're not convenient, I'll ...... cough later, I don't mind the more laborious side ......"

After saying that, he rubbed the side of his face, which was vaguely hot, and left a quick "I'm going to take a shower" before dashing into the bathroom.

Shen Ke: "????"

Shen Ke : "!!!"

Shen Ke: "......"

Well, even if he didn't quite get it at first, he got it when Lin Jian's scribbled but vivid, up-and-down hand gestures came out.

"...... little cub."

In the middle of the day, Shen Ke's startled gaze calmed down to the speckled sheets in his hands, and he let out a laugh.

It seems like you can't be too heartbroken and too willing to part with it.

"It's so spoiled you're going against the grain."