Why are you leaving again?

The personal physician arrived, and indeed, as Lv Zhishu had said, it was a young doctor, with handsome eyes and a slender figure, whose foreign name was Anthony.

Dr. Anthony is very nice, has a good temper, and seems to have an inexplicable sense of intimacy.

But He Yu couldn't even remember his name or his face, like a symbol of something else.

This dispensable symbol begins to hypnotize He Yu.

Dr. Anthony: "Mr. He , please lie down, relax and follow me with three deep breaths ......"

"Think of something you've encountered in the past that was particularly gratifying."

"...... And what if it doesn't."

The doctor froze for a moment, then said, "Then think about what you want to happen."

He Yu closed his eyes and started thinking.

What does he want to happen ......

Maybe he wished he had never been born.

Maybe he wanted himself, Lv Zhishu, to be free of drugs and to be a normal person.

And then maybe ......

--

"You guys found out I was sick after you gave birth to me in the first place and just strangled me and forget about it!"

He closed his eyes under the hypnosis of a therapist, and slowly returned to consciousness a few days ago. ......

He dreamed of the time just after he crashed and woke up.

He was arguing with He Jiwei: "You're trembling all day, I'm walking around like a zombie, you're torturing each other, it's not fun."

"He Yu ......"

"You go away, I am not used to have you here, I am madder, I can't hide it in the future, I am afraid I will be a disgrace to you all."

The dialog and the reality are all exactly the same.

But, under Anthony's hypnotic influence, the course of the story began to change gradually--

In reality, He Jiwei went on to explain the secret of Rn13 to He Yu. But in this dream, He Jiwei opened his mouth and was about to speak when the door was suddenly knocked.

He Jiwei looked relieved, "Come in."

"Mr. He, Dr. Xie is here now, waiting downstairs."

That's it.

He Yu was stunned, so in his subconscious, he still hoped that Xie Qingcheng could come back.

He was so eager for it, and so afraid of it, that his hypnotic dream self actually stiffened at the news and tried to get up, but the restraint straps tightened around him, the iron clattering.

"I don't need another doctor, who told you to invite him?"

The more the teenager longed for it the more he feared it, he struggled like a dragon trying to escape from its chains, and there was such a madness in his eyes that even the servant who had delivered the message couldn't help but shrink back.

"Let him go back!"

"Do you think he's that nice to invite?!" He Jiwei said sternly, "If he hadn't heard that you almost lost your life after falling off a building, he wouldn't have even bothered to come see you!"

He Yu listened with even more humiliation and exasperation, "Then let him wait until I'm dead before he comes to see me at my grave!"

"If you say dead or not again, I'll ......"

He Jiwei raised his hand again.

He Yu told no one to see him, his almond eyes not blinking as they stared at He Jiwei's face.

"......"

He Jiwei's hand trembled and dropped.

He took a deep breath and pushed his way out, the last look in his eyes seeming incredibly frustrated and anxious, yet incredibly tired.

"Ask Dr. Hsieh to come up." He said to the maid, "I have a lot of things to do. ...... late to miss the plane, I'll leave first."

He Yu was so indignant that he hammered the edge of the bed, causing the buckle of the restraint belt to clatter. Unfortunately, he couldn't turn around, nor could he cover his face, so in the end, he could only close his eyes and tense his body.

It seems that even in his dreams, he doesn't want to be so embarrassed in front of Xie Qingcheng at all.

Not at all.

But He Jiwei and the maid went away one after another, and no matter how much he resisted, how reluctant, how much he hated them, he still heard the familiar footsteps coming from far and near.

And then stopped at the side of his bed.

He trembled, trembling with too much longing.

Even in hypnosis, in a dream, He Yu still seemed to be able to feel the vague scent of Xie Qingcheng, a very cold sterilized water, reminiscent of a scalpel, a syringe, a pale hospital room. It was a very cold disinfectant scent, reminiscent of scalpels, syringes, and the pale wards of hospitals.

He used to only feel cold when he smelled it, but now, for some reason, he felt hot.

The man lowered his head and said nothing, as if he didn't want to say anything to him, just checking He Yu's injuries and--

"Click."

A slight sound.

Xie Qingcheng untied his restraints.

--The He Yu in the dream world stiffened and seemed to be satisfied to the extreme in a moment, while the He Yu outside the dream world had his eyes closed and there seemed to be tears under his eyelashes.

So that's what he'd been hoping would happen when he was sick.

He wished that his own straitjacket had been undone by Xie Qingcheng's own hands.

He wanted Xie Qingcheng to know that he was really sick, to believe that he was really sick, and to come back to him.

"Very good ......" Dr. Anthony observed his state and continued to guide his hypnosis, his voice soft, almost compelling, "Very good, whatever you dreamed, keep thinking down the road ...... You have to believe you can find that way out ......"

However, it is such a sentence.

It's like touching a scale.

He Yu's dream world was suddenly shaken.

The way out?

What's the way out?

He thought of the reality of Xie Qingcheng's ice-cold eyes, thought of Xie Qingcheng resolutely said to him, "I have to leave, sooner or later you have to rely on you to get out of your own inner shadow."

"I'm not your bridge, He Yu. Neither is Xie Xue."

"He Yu ......"

He Yu.

A sound that was cold and piercing.

He Yu suddenly fell back to the dream, he is still lying on the bed, the restraining belt is still Xie Qingcheng for him to undo, but the surrounding scene suddenly became very dark, Xie Qingcheng's face is also very dark, as if a layer of cold tone filter.

He dreamed of Xie Qingcheng's thin lips opening and closing.

He knew that Xie Qingcheng was trying to tell him the reason why he had come back. He Yu vaguely sensed that that reason would cause him immense pain.

He simply wanted to escape from the hypnosis immediately.

But it didn't work.

The Xie Qingcheng in the dream spoke decisive phrases word by word, and he had nowhere to hide, "Although I do wish you were dead, I will take care of you this time until your fever is gone and your injuries are healed. You don't have to misunderstand, I came here because your father paid me very well."

Xie Qingcheng's voice was extremely cold and devoid of any emotion.

"Those are payoffs you can't afford. More than enough so that I never have to see you again."

"......"

In the dream, He Yu was stabbed, like being slapped by Xie Qingcheng, pain and hurt.

Outside the dream, He Yu also began to breathe heavily and frown tightly.

He wanted to get rid of this dream, but this dream was also a demon that he had to break.

He Yu was then hypnotized by a private therapist and plunged deeper into the world of the heart.

He continued to dream, and in his dream he once again saw the dusty guest room door.

In this dream, Xie Qingcheng came back, and Xie Qingcheng stayed in the room that He Yu had carefully cleaned for him.

But Xie Qingcheng, who came back from He Yu's fall in the hypnosis, is very indifferent. He almost never cares about He Yu. Every day, after he records the data of He Yu's physical signs, he throws him a syringe and stares at him to finish it, but he doesn't even bother to push the medicine for him.

He Yu said nothing at first, perhaps because of the boy's ridiculous pride; he acted as if nothing had happened; Xie Qingcheng gave him the needle, he gave it to himself in silence, and then Xie Qingcheng took it away again.

Not a word of dialog the whole time, it was like a silent movie.

But then, He Yu's heart became more and more irritated by the silence, and he gradually stopped wanting to cooperate.

The dream kept repeating and continuing.

Finally, as Xie Qingcheng gave him his usual condition monitoring and handed him a tube of injections, He Yu sat in the Windsor chair in his bedroom but didn't take it.

He suddenly asked Xie Qingcheng very calmly, but almost desperately, "Dr. Xie, have you ever thought that I might do something else with these injections?"

Xie Qingcheng didn't pay much attention to He Yu's expression and said, "You don't look like you want to die that much either."

"Yeah. You know me again."

He Yu laughed mockingly, and suddenly raised his hand and picked up the syringe, and without blinking he stuck it in himself, but this time not intravenously, but randomly into the flesh and blood under the skin, while the potion pushed in-

Xie Qingcheng abruptly changed color, immediately stepped forward, but it was already too late, He Yu's piece of skin quickly bluish and purple, swollen with horrible bumps.

"But I actually don't want to live that much." He Yu's face was pale, and while ordinary people would have grimaced in pain, his face didn't even show half an inch of ripples.

It's as if the shot was given to someone unrelated.

His dark eyes gazed at Xie Qingcheng's Tie Qing-colored face without blinking or shifting, and coldly pulled out the needle, which had only a little of the injection left in it, the rest of it all becoming an increasingly unsightly bruise underneath He Yu's skin.

Unimpressed, He Yu re-passed the syringe into Xie Qingcheng's hand and said in a single word, "Here. You do it."

Xie Qingcheng was white-faced and seemed to be appalled by this lunatic behavior of his as well.

He Yu said, "It has to be you, Xie Qingcheng."

"Otherwise I wouldn't have gotten a single shot today."

His tone seemed a bit threatening, but if you carefully discerned it, there was some hidden sadness hidden in his words as well.

"Since you're here because of the money, get paid to do the job. Always do it right."

Xie Qingcheng came back to his senses and closed his eyes, "Don't you force me to tie you up as well."

"Then you tie it." He Yu indifferently, "Like my parents, you bundle. It's not like you can't do something like that."

Xie Qingcheng in the dream seems to have gotten a brain ache from him--

"He Yu, what the hell do you want?"

What does he want?

Actually, he doesn't know himself.

He realized that there was something really wrong with him, he seemed to be becoming more and more concerned about Xie Qingcheng.

He can't see Xie Qingcheng will be annoyed, see but also can't calm down, Xie Qingcheng became a sharp thorn in his heart, pull out or not to pull out are killing him.

But he's not supposed to be like that.

He hated homosexuality and could never be involved with a man, but at the same time he found himself thinking about Xie Qingcheng in bed when he wasn't looking, and he seemed to think about Xie Qingcheng's body at first, and then he even longed for Xie Qingcheng's feelings-- He even longed for Xie Qingcheng's feelings -

He's too tormented.

It always feels like you can't breathe and your heart is stuffy.

In the dream, the two were still at loggerheads, and finally, He Yu said to Xie Qingcheng, "You know, once upon a time, I didn't want to be like this."

"Xie Qingcheng, you've watched me grow up. You know what I used to be like. ...... I held on for nineteen years for what others and I have described as that 'peace' that might have been there."

"Now I can't hold out."

"My parents have always made me pretend to be a normal person so that I won't get caught in the madhouse, and they dared to do so because I have never done anything out of the law and out of order, and I do live like a normal person, even though it's disgusting and hard, even though I can't complain about my pain or cry out when I'm sick. Even though I have to constantly observe the reactions of people around me in the face of joy and sorrow, and then give them a satisfactory answer."

"But I did."

"For nineteen years, a man who should have been living in an insane asylum lived in a sane society. A man who should be in a cage, walks outside of it. I was in constant fear that my sickness would be exposed, that I would go from being the envy of everyone, to being the envy of everyone. The friends I have, all of them are not my real friends because they don't know what my true colors look like, they are just hanging out with me wearing a fake face."

"Who can I tell the truth to? I used to think that at least your sister, Xie Xue, she could be different from the others. But I was naive after all."

"I'm sick, Xie Qingcheng," he said at the end, with a smile on his face and a look of pathos, deceptively insane, horrible to the extreme, he poked himself in the heart, "I'm fucking sick! Who knows the truth and still wants to look at me and treat me the same as before? I have to live under a mask of normalcy for the rest of my life - there's still a time limit for being in jail, where's the time limit for me to be cured?"

The voice was trembling by the end.

"Nineteen years. Xie Qingcheng."

"Why did you save me?"

"All the doctors before you couldn't slow me down well enough, you're the one who gave me hope and pushed me back into the abyss - so why did you save me? Why did you lie to me? You hate me, don't you, Xie Qingcheng - do you realize that I hate you too!"

"I've fucking hated you since the day you left!"

He Yu is a man who hardly ever swears, but at this moment, in the dream created by hypnosis, he is a little out of sorts, and the chaos of too long has festered in his mind, and he can't control the impulses that run through his blood, heart, and limbs.

In his dream, he lost his temper with Xie Qingcheng, like a real nineteen-year-old boy, without reason, without discipline, without deliberation, pouring out all the words that were stifled in his throat in a brutal and unreasonable manner, no matter what.

His eyes reddened as he cursed.

He said, "I really hate you, Xie Qingcheng."

"Now you hate me too, and you say how much better it would have been if you had let me die without even looking at me, if it hadn't been for this disease, if it hadn't been for meeting you, we could have had one less enemy in each other's lives, without a lot of pain."

"Me and you, we wouldn't have hated each other as much as we do today."

The Xie Qingcheng in his dream did not say anything, but looked at him with complicated eyes, and after a long time of silence, the man turned around, "...... I'll have my assistant come up and give you an injection."

"Why don't you fight Xie Qingcheng yourself? Are you afraid of seeing me?" He Yu's expression could be described as furious, yet his tone was horrifyingly calm, "Or do you mind touching me and getting dirty."

"You can think whatever you want." Xie Qingcheng said, "You got one thing right, He Yu."

"If it hadn't been for this disease, if it hadn't been for meeting you, we could have had one less enemy in each other's lives, without a lot of pain."

"Please get your emotions under control or I'll have to literally tie you up with a straitjacket."

"...... Good. Then you bundle while you can. Hurry up and bundle!" He Yu tilted his head, red-eyed and smiling, his voice ghostly, "Or you'll regret it sooner or later."

Xie Qingcheng ignored him, turned around and pushed the door out.

And just at the moment when Xie Qingcheng in the hypnotic dream pushed the door out, He Yu lying on the treatment chair in reality, his chest heaving violently, he became a dying and fragile life, that door once again opened and closed, he knew that Xie Qingcheng was not even willing to stay in the hypnotic dream for a long time.

His departure seemed to draw the last vestiges of popularity from his chest.

He Yu suddenly woke up, opened his eyes wide, and breathed laboriously.

A line of tears managed to slide down the ends of his eyes.

Anthony, the personal physician, sat at the edge of the chair watching him, and when he woke up, he calmly poured him water, medicine, and handed him tissues.

"You have something in your heart that is tormenting you, or perhaps someone who is tormenting you."

He Yu: "......"

Dr. Anthony: "Drink the medicine, at least you've now seen the cause of this attack on yourself."

"The cause of the disease is found, and you yourself can figure out how to overcome and defeat it."

The doctor tapped He Yu on the shoulder.

Then to the sweaty, heavy-shirted man he said, "That's the end of today's session, Mr. He, please try to control yourself as much as you can, don't think about that thing, or that person, and get some rest."