"Lin Jian, try it with me."

Two months later, the splint on Shen Ke's leg was finally removed, and on the day the splint was removed, the doctor told him that he was healing very well. Shen Ke insisted on trying to walk alone without external force, which was a little uncomfortable at first, but after a week or so, with his repeated insistence, his walking posture was the same as before the injury, except for a slightly slower pace.

There is still one week left before the Lunar New Year, and the Lin Jian project team has officially started their annual vacation.

In order to avoid the Spring Festival rush, colleagues booked their flights or high speed trains early, just waiting for the last night before the vacation, carrying their luggage straight to the airport or high speed train station.

Lin Jian doesn't have the hassle of returning to his hometown before the holidays, and because of his work schedule, his annual leave is much longer than the average corporate employee.

It was his first Spring Festival after returning to China, and he had plenty of time to spend it, but the first thing he did was to go back to the small mountain village he came from, to visit Lin Jianghe's grave.

For five years, he has been wandering around, and Lin Jianghe has been buried in yellow soil, and I'm afraid that every holiday season, there is not even a person to burn the paper to pay respect to.

Whenever he thought of this, he felt deeply subterfuge and ashamed to be a son.

Early the next morning, Lin Jian left his apartment, went straight to the high-speed train station, bought a ticket for the only stopping high-speed train to the county train station, and boarded the train back to his hometown.

Many years ago, every time he came to visit Lin Jianghe's grave, it was Shen Ke who drove him. They started from the southern city, driving the whole journey to more than five hours, but if he drove from the city of Lin, the highway will take more than eight hours, to the destination of the sky is dark, so simply take the high-speed rail, although the car will have to take a taxi into the mountains, but it is always a time-saving.

This class of high-speed rail in the hometown of the train station only temporary stop for two minutes, get off the train, Lin Jian With the bustling flow of people out of the station, finally check the ticket through the exit, walk outside the train station, the smell of smoke and dust and yellow earth came to my face.

How many years has it been the same old thing, even in the center of the county?

Lin Jian found a flower store in the so-called busy area of the city gate, there is little else to choose from, so he wrapped up a large bunch of foxtail lilies. It wasn't hard to find a funeral store, so Lin Jian bought another large pocket of paper money and gold coins, and waved down a cab on the side of the road.

On the car reported the destination, the driver master "ooh", said: "far enough ah, or the mountains." After a pause and said, "that can not play the table, a price of 500, or turn back to my empty car back, play the table to run this trip is not enough to car and gas money."

Lin Jian didn't cut the price and said yes.

To the foot of the mountains to the west of the big village, but also more than two hours of travel, taxi masters may be in order to save fuel, all the way to the chain shift without intermission, the throttle brake without gear, Lin Jian closed his eyes and leaned back, pursed his lips, and forced to endure the discomfort of the feeling of motion sickness, but his face is becoming more and more white.

When we finally arrived near the wasteland on the edge of the village, Lin Jian opened his eyes and said, "Please stop, I'll get off here."

The driver probably saw that he was young and talkative, and holding flowers and offerings in his hand, so when he collected the money, he asked, "Did you come to the cemetery before New Year's Eve?"

Lin Jian dropped his eyes and let out a "hmm".

"There's no shuttle bus in the middle of nowhere." The master asked, "Why don't I leave you a business card? When you go back to the city to make a phone call, if you are catching the fleet of cars on this side, I will let someone to give you a car to bring back - hey but first said, but still have to come to the original price of this ah!"

Lin Jian paid the money, sniffed and raised the corner of his mouth, saying, "OK, then please leave me a contact information."

Otherwise, I'm afraid I'd really have to sleep at night on a deserted mountain.

The back wheels of the cab raised a cloud of yellow earth, and Lin Jian stood still for a moment, squeezing the small card, waiting for the dizziness to subside a little before lifting his feet and walking deeper into the wasteland.

This cemetery is the village's collective land, for many years, the deceased people in this village in this piece of barren land land, many years have not come back, far away from the past, only to see Lin Jianghe's grave surrounded by a few more newly built tombstones.

Late winter in the north, the cold is boundless.

Lin Jian walked to Lin Jianghe's grave stopped, staring at the stone monument silent for a long time, before the handful of flowers bent over the monument. He bowed but did not get up, after a long time, only mute voice shouted: "...... Dad."

I came to see you.

No one answered him as the north wind rolled the yellow sand past.

Lin Jian took the sacrificial incense out of the bag, lit three sticks and inserted them in the incense burner in front of the tombstone.

But the moment he rose with downcast eyes, a flash of doubt crossed his mind.

Lin Jianghe monument in front of the small copper stove, actually still piled up a thick layer of incense ash.

Could it be that over the years, someone else had come over to pay their respects, other than him who had not returned from his sojourn?

Lin Jian did not think about it deeply, after all, the possibility is too small.

After lighting the incense, he knelt down on the futon mat in front of Lin Jianghe's tomb and set fire to a wad of paper money, placing it in a copper basin.

The hot flames licked up, illuminating Lin Jian's pale face with an orange-red color. After burning several stacks of banknotes, Lin Jian spoke in a low voice, asking in a soft tone, "You didn't come back to see you for so many years, do you blame me?"

"I'm sure you're saying you don't blame it, right? ...... Yet I'm hoping you'll blame me, or simply call me out on it."

"Leaving you here alone for several years, all alone, without even someone to talk to on New Year's holidays, is being a son's unfilial to the core."

"Pa, I'm coming back this time, and staying a long time, and when next spring comes, and I find a nice windy day, I'll have you with me."

Intermittently said this, Lin Jian voice paused for a moment, and then shook his head with a bitter smile: "It's not right ...... for three more years, I may have to go again, and then you'll still be alone, what can be done ...... "

"It's always the son's fault for uprooting himself without a place to stay, and letting you toss and turn with him."

The flames in the copper pot were blown by the northwest wind and burned even more vigorously, the blazing temperature baked Lin Jian's eyes dry and painful. After the paper money was burned, he picked up a string of gold dollars and put it into the fire pot, and after a long time, he said, "There's something that you probably know without saying it."

"I met him again."

After finishing this sentence, Lin Jian Yu was silent for a long time, as if a storm of emotions was brewing in his heart, but just when this hurricane was about to break out of his heart and roar to the edge of his mouth, he was able to stop it, and finally turned into an extremely calm and light-hearted direct narrative.

"Yes, I still like him."

"From my teens to my twenties, and even into the tens of years to come, it's like I ...... have no other choice."

"...... is no better."

The young man is the one who has his heart in the beginning of his life, and he is the one who has his heart in the rest of his late life.

"I still don't really call out the three words Little Uncle, it seems like every time I call him that, it's like ...... pushing him a little bit farther away, but I actually know that it's just an illusion that I'm selfish."

"That man of his is still like that, and treats me like he used to ...... No, better than before, but-"

Lin Jian took a deep breath, hung his head low and did not dare to look at the name on the tombstone, long fingers will be in the hands of the gold dollar are clenched folds deformed: "I said at the same time to let him like once, just as I was family, and at the same time ...... can't help but be infatuated ......"

"Even more, the better he treats me, the more vague I get myself, afraid that one day I won't be able to resist crossing the line ......"

"Dad, what would you tell me if you were still around?"

Will I be forced into instant sobriety, or will I be indulged in perpetual sinking?

The wind was blowing, the sun was already setting in the west, and the sky was a cloudy haze of blood red.

Lin Jian placed the last few gold dollars into the basin and kept his eyes downcast as he stared at the fire, which gradually weakened and died out until only a few flickers of firelight were left to pulsate in the gray embers.

It's been so long since we've been apart, and it's only been so long since we've seen each other.

Life seems to be a repetitive cycle of partings and encounters, week after week.

Going back.

Kneeling in the cold wind for too long, Lin Jian's knees and legs have long been numb and sore, he slowly got up, looked at Lin Jianghe's tombstone and kept silent for a long time, finally ready to leave.

And just then, he suddenly heard very light footsteps coming from behind him.

Slow but steady and strong--

No matter how many years it has been, Shen Ke's footsteps are always the first thing he can recognize.

Lin Jian jerked back to look, the force so sudden that the whole man stumbled before he could stand still, and then he held his breath in disbelief.

Shen Ke, dressed in a long black trench coat, stood tall and erect in the cold wind of twilight. Obviously, it was the bitter winter of withered boughs and white grass and yellow clouds, but his mere stopping of his feet and standing in the cold wind could make people feel a sudden burst of warmth around them.

"You ...... cough ......" Lin Jian, stunned, do not know how to react, open his mouth, but choked a mouthful of the old north wind, inclined his head and coughed in a low voice for a good half a day, and only barely muffled Mumbled out, "...... How did you come?"

Shen Ke steps closer, takes out a packet of tissues from the pocket of his trench coat and hands it to him, saying in a warm voice, "Wipe it off, you're coughing up tears." And only then did he answer his question, "Every year at this time, I come over - to see him for you."

Lin Jian clutched a packet of paper towels and couldn't speak.

Shen Ke walked to Lin Jianghe's grave and placed the flower bouquet in his hand on the other side, also a pure white bouquet, exactly the same as the one brought by Lin Jian, one on the left and one on the right, as if they were guarding each other.

Following Lin Jian's line of sight, Shen Ke did not get up after putting down the bouquet, but took out a handkerchief from his pocket and naturally wiped away the floating dust and yellow soil on Lin Jianghe's tombstone.

He suddenly remembered that when he was small, every year when Shen Ke brought him to pay homage to Lin Jianghe, he would prepare a handkerchief like this and hand it to himself, who stood in front of the tomb in a slightly silent manner, and then said in a deep voice, "It's New Year's Day, wipe your father's tombstone.

Lin Jian's eyes suddenly warmed up.

It turns out ...... it turns out that the thoughts that flashed through my mind when I first arrived at the tomb were not an illusion.

During the years of his own absence, there was indeed one person who came every year to offer incense on his behalf, to make up for that dereliction of duty as a son of man.

After wiping the tombstone, Shen Ke straightened up, looked at the three words "Lin Jianghe" on the monument, remained silent for a moment, and softly said, "Older brother, this year my son also came back, quite happy, right?"

The organs and limbs were burning as if by a hot flame, and the emotions were so strong and thick that Lin Jian stood behind him and gasped hard.

Shen Ke Chip body jade standing, half a long time light smile: "children from childhood stubborn, a go so many years, you do not blame and do not complain, have to complain if ...... even if I do it."

Lin Jian closed his eyes hard.

Shen Ke said, "But this time when I come back, I don't intend to let him go again, I always have to stay with him and look at him in front of me to feel relieved."

"And rest assured that what I say never counts."

He promised at Lin Jianghe's grave that he would let little Lin Jian grow up well.

Now he promises again that he will give the young man, who has been floating for so long, a secure home.

"Shen Ke."

Lin Jian suddenly spoke up from behind him, his voice muffled like a handful of sand rubbed in his throat.

"Why." Shen Ke turned back and beckoned him over, "Come here and talk to your dad some more."

Lin Jian walked over and stood side by side with him in front of the grave, but was too dazzled to say a word.

The long wind swept through the wilderness, but became gentle as it swept between them. After a long time, Shen Ke gave a laugh and asked in a low voice, "Nothing more to say?"

"...... no more." Lin Jian's voice was still dark and muffled, "What I wanted to say, I finished just now."

"Oh? What's it say." Shen Ke turned his gaze to the side of his face, "Can I listen?"

"Say miss, say sorry." Lin Jian paused, her eyes reddening slightly, "...... say you too."

"Hmm? Tell your dad anything bad about me?" Shen Ke asked softly with a warm smile in his eyes.

Lin Jian could feel his heart beating, not fast, but extremely heavy, like a jackhammer, hitting his chest cavity one by one, he took a long breath and inclined his head to look directly into Shen Ke's deep eyes, one word at a time.

"Is it bad to say that I met you again, that I still like you?"

Shen Ke's fingers that dangled at his side curled involuntarily.

Lin Jian turned his head and looked directly into his eyes, the two lines of sight met in the bitter cold wind, but neither of them flickered.

Lin Jian dropped his hand to the side and clenched it into a fist, his fingertips choked out a sharp pain in his palm, he relied on this hidden pain to keep himself awake for the last trace of lucidity, and asked again.

"Shen Ke, is that a bad word?"

"Of course not." After a long time, Shen Ke whispered back to him before looking back at the tombstone in front of him, "It's just, I didn't think you'd tell him that."

"No?" Lin Jian, his face pale, but with a redness at the end of his eyes, not like the scarlet flush of crying, but like a stress reaction from trying to repress some huge, heavy emotion, looked at Shen Ke and said truthfully, "I said that in front of his monument when I was sixteen."

Shen Ke's deep eyes shifted slightly.

Lin Jian's blindness and obstinacy reached its peak in this moment, even with a bit of reckless self-loathing: "I'm twenty-three years old this year, and I still dare to say this, even at fifty-three or seventy-three, I dare to say it."

"...... Yeah." After a long time, Shen Ke answered softly.

After a moment, he suddenly spoke in a low voice, "But such words, you have not once told me to my face since your return."

Lin Jian's shoulders shook silently.

"I'm telling it, don't you dare listen."

Can I hear it?

Shen Ke turned to him, his demeanor still calm, but a deep darkness crept into his eyes, "Why don't you give it a try?"

"...... Good." Lin Jian deeply exhaled a mouthful of rolling breath and looked at the person in front of him, at this person he had been thinking about and looking up to since he was a teenager, this person who made him look up to the mountains but was hard to look up to, word by word, sentence by sentence.

"Shen Ke, you have all the goodness in the world, and any relationship is within your reach if you want it to be."

"But I'm not like the others."

"You may not love me, but I will always desire you."

"As long as the earth turns and the sun rises, I long for you longingly."

"It is like breathing, sepulchral and immortal to the end."

No more regrets, Lin Jian thought.

Even if he never gets any response for the rest of his life, even if Shen Ke can only think of him as the child he raised.

At Lin Jianghe's grave, he would have no regrets if he could say such words to him in person.

Shen Ke was silent for a long, long time.

It was not until Lin Jian's eyes were pained by the wind and he blinked involuntarily that he saw Shen Ke slowly turn to Lin Jianghe's tombstone and whisper, "I'm sorry."

"It's my fault for making your son so upset in front of you."

Lin Jian opened his mouth to retort, but Shen Ke continued, "But this is the last time, I swear."

Lin Jian froze.

"Lin Jian, I will make up for the regrets and pain in the past, so don't be sad because of me in the future."

Shen Ke slowly turned back, looked into Lin Jian's eyes and opened his mouth:

"You don't need to long for anything anymore, and you don't have to chase after it."

"It's my turn to chase you this time."

Chasing me?

The meaning and possibilities behind this word are too big and too many, Lin Jian's car-sick and windy brain is not very able to think clearly for a while, he is still trapped in the dense and heavy wave of emotions just now, and for a while there are a few confused looks: "You ......"

Shen Ke, however, took a step closer to him, and at Lin Jianghe's grave, took the cold, white hand in his, like grasping a promise that would never expire.

"Give me a chance." Shen Ke said.

"Lin Jian, try it with me."