A kiss that doesn't go over the top.

In the dead of winter, it was already completely dark.

The twilight wilderness was in full swing, with only the old north wind blowing from the foothills of the not-so-distant mountains, soaking through the clothes.

Lin Jian was still in a daze until he was led to the car by Shen Ke.

At the door of the car, Shen Ke let go of the hand he was holding in his palm and pulled open the driver's door to get into the car, Lin Jian was in a trance, and only after he was seated did he remember to get into the passenger seat.

Shen Ke started the car, fastened his seatbelt and then glanced at Lin Jian, who was sitting next to him in a daze, and reminded him, "Seatbelt."

"Huh?" Lin Jian turned his head very slowly, as if he hadn't understood his cue, and looked at him.

Shen Ke looked at the pair of eyes in front of him, which had always been cool and clear, but now they were purely chaotic and confused, he couldn't help but feel amused, but he didn't say anything else, he just unfastened the seatbelt that he had just fastened, and leaned over, pulled down the passenger seatbelt, and fastened it securely for Lin Jian.

When he leaned in, his trench coat, still damp with the cold, dry scent of a northern winter, mixed with the clean elegance of Shen Ke's customary cedar-wood perfume, making its presence felt in the small compartment.

Lin Jian subconsciously held his breath and sat up slightly straighter.

When Shen Ke fastened his seatbelt, his fingertips inadvertently touched the back of Lin Jian's hand, he paused slightly, re-gripped the hand in his palm, and whispered with a frown, "Why is it still so cold after covering it all the way."

Lin Jian sluggishly followed his words and lowered his gaze, just to see his hand completely wrapped in his hand.

Shen Ke's skin was white, his knuckles long and bony, and his palm thin and tough, but perhaps because he was tall, his hand was slightly larger than Lin Jian's own.

That's why it can be wrapped in your hand like that.

Like Shen Ke the man, his palms are never warm.

Lin Jian stared at their hands clasped together, his lips pursed slightly, his eyes flickered, but he did not make a sound for a long time.

After a few moments, a soft laugh came from his side, and Shen Ke suddenly put his other hand against Lin Jian's jaw, turning his face toward him.

Lin Jian looked at him with confused eyes and blinked very softly.

"What kind of expression is this, are you scared silly?" Shen Ke's eyes sank into a very soft smile, "Make a sound, let me have a bottom in my heart."

The hand was still held in Shen Ke's palm, a steady stream of warmth passed from the back of the hand to the fingertips, and then slowly penetrated into the bloodstream and flowed through the body, Lin Jian's numbness was finally slowly revived.

"You ......" He opened his mouth, but only a monosyllable came out.

The warm air in the car had been turned on and the temperature was gradually rising, Shen Ke, with an unhurried demeanor and a sporadic smile in his eyes, said softly, as if encouraging, "What's wrong with me, go on."

So Lin Jian was easily compelled, "You just said ......"

"What did I say?"

Lin Jian closed his mouth at the right time and didn't speak again.

Fear is a waking up to a dream that can not be done, once how addicted to self-tension, how careful he is at the moment, afraid that it will suddenly wake up.

Shen Ke waited for him for a moment, saw him stubbornly mute again, finally sighed helplessly, and continued to himself, "You heard me when I said give me a chance to make amends, to try it out with me, didn't you?"

"......"

Lin Jian thought, it is indeed a dream.

"Lin Jian." Shen Ke gently rubbed the back of his hand with his thumb, "Why this reaction, tell me?"

After a long time, Lin Jian finally opened his mouth and spat out, "Because it's impossible."

"Why?"

"You ......" He was going to say, didn't you say that I will always be the same child you raised and your family? Back then, when we were so glued to each other, you were still sober and sensible enough to reject me, so if that's the case, why would you suddenly say yes now?

But it was obviously not the right thing to say so bluntly in this situation.

Solitary Lin Jian numb downtime for a good half a day thinking at this point a quick awakening of two seconds, he paused, changed in his own opinion is already a very euphemistic way of saying, "...... I just do not know the reason."

"Is it important to you?"

Lin Jian looked at him and didn't say anything.

It didn't really matter, after all, as long as Shen Ke had said something and made a decision, he had never blindly followed it without reason.

Shen Ke looked at him and smiled a little, then suddenly said, "Remember that time I blew out your hair two months ago?"

Lin Jian certainly remembers.

That night, Shen Ke hugged him silently from behind, and he was so surprised he almost forgot to breathe.

"Originally I wanted to tell you that night." Shen Ke laughed, "but you muffled off the next second, leaving a 'Blow it out, good night,' and I ...... couldn't chase after you because my legs weren't working at the time."

"And at that point I thought about it, and maybe that really wasn't a good time, it was too sudden for you."

Lin Jian responded quickly this time, "It's also very sudden now."

So Shen Ke just looked at him and laughed out loud.

Lin Jian snapped, his ears suddenly burning a little.

"So ...... why?" After a few seconds, he couldn't help himself, but asked out loud, "You ...... you treated me ......"

Is it really like that?

Not treating me like the kid I once was, not loving me like family, but ...... like I did to you, like?

And before answering this question, Shen Ke slowly restrained his smile, he looked at Lin Jian for a long time, long enough for Lin Jian to begin to reflect on whether or not he had asked a foolish question, then Shen Ke sighed softly and said in a warm voice, "When you and I were reunited a few months ago, what did I say to you, do you remember? "

Lin Jian thought carefully about his recollection and said honestly, "I remember almost everything you said, but I don't know which one you are referring to."

"I said it in the car when I came out of the restaurant that night." Shen Ke didn't laugh at him this time, but seriously helped him remember, "I said-- Lin Jian, I hope you'll always be firmly chosen."

Lin Jian was stunned and lost for words.

"But that's just for other people." Shen Ke told him, warmly and surely, "Not if that someone is me."

"Where is ...... different?"

"For me, you will never be one of the choices, not the end result that needs to go through the selection and comparison to get - as far as I'm concerned, the choice will always be yours."

Just like when you were young and you insisted on leaving, I wouldn't force you to stay.

Now that you've seen the outside world, seen all kinds of people and come back, if the arrow of choice is still pointed at me, then I'm left with only one possibility of taking your hand.

And--

Shen Ke suddenly remembered the transatlantic phone call he received from Wen Ning two months ago.

As he hung up the phone he was thinking, this can't go on -

Whether it's affection or love, he can't let Lin Jian think that the world's feelings are largely like that, and that love is nothing more than that.

He didn't want to keep him waiting, much less upset.

"So ......" Lin Jian's voice was slightly hoarse, the ends of his eyes abruptly becoming a little flushed after a deep gasp, "So that's what I think it means, is it?"

His years of delusion come true in an instant. Just when Lin Jian has already calmly convinced himself at Lin Jianghe's grave that he could only wish for Shen Ke for the rest of his life, Shen Ke appears in person at his father's grave and takes him by the hand, fulfilling his delusional dream.

Even Shen Ke had made it so clear, but he was still in a trance, thinking it didn't seem real.

"What else could it mean." Shen Ke sighed silently, a warm, deep smile regathering under his eyes, "Shouldn't it--"

"What?"

Shen Ke laughed to himself, "It's not like I'm going to have to relearn how to chase people when I'm this old, is it?"

"......"

Lin Jian slightly widened his eyes, as if he was burned by the word "chasing people", and only after a long time did he say sullenly: "...... Forget it, chasing people is very hard, and I'm afraid that you can't handle it at this age. "

"......"

Shen Ke like did not expect him to suddenly come to such a sentence, slightly froze for a moment, and then his eyebrows and eyes were all soft down, smiled a little and said: "That's why I just asked, do you want to give me a chance to try with me - Lin Jian, you have the right to choose. "

"If you are willing to start, but after getting along, you find that this relationship, is not as perfect as you imagined at the beginning, or ......" Shen Ke's voice slightly paused, and then slightly self-deprecatingly laughed a little, and then softly said, "or found that the gap between me and what you once imagined is a little big, or even with me there are places that make you feel unbearable. "Or found that I and you once imagined the appearance of the gap is a little big, or even with me, there are let you feel unbearable place, then, you can completely no worries to call it off."

He puts the choice of beginning and ending in Lin Jian's hands.

Lin Jian, on the other hand, looked at him, was silent for a long time, and shook his head very softly.

There was even a hint of disbelief in his look of concentration, as if he didn't understand the man's sudden presumption, but after a moment, he couldn't help but babble curiously, asking softly, "Not that kind of possibility, but then what if after ...... I start, I suddenly find out how good someone else is? "

That's a bit of an understatement to ask.

"Going out in the sky and sea for more than five years without realizing it, and just promised me that you'd grow a pair of eyes to find beauty?" Shen Ke stifled a laugh to intimidate him, but his voice remained gentle, "Then it might actually be true that I didn't teach you well in the first place and now I owe you discipline."

Thereupon, Shen Ke replied calmly, "Then at least ...... you have to deal with me for a while first, even for show?"

Lin Jian froze for two seconds, and when he reacted, he couldn't hold back his laughter, dropping his eyelashes and laughing very softly.

Seeing him smile, Shen Ke's heart, which was hanging in mid-air, has only slowly returned to its rightful place.

"So can we go home now?" Shen Ke asked with a smile, "If we don't leave, we won't even make it to South City in the wee hours of the morning."

"Oh."

Go home.

With Shen Ke, go home.

They're together.

Lin Jian only at this moment had the real feeling of waking up as if from a dream, and then realized that the joy in his heart was very difficult to hide no matter what, so he could only slightly press the corners of his lips and whispered, "Then, we're going home."

"......" Shen Ke didn't move.

"Huh?" Lin Jian turned his head to look at him with a very faint smile under his eyes, "What?"

Shen Ke drops his eyes slightly and smiles, signaling him, "So I'll let go for a while? There's a section of dirt road ahead that's quite bumpy, and I'm not good at driving with one hand." After a pause, he added with a smile, "Is it convenient?"

"...... Oh." Lin Jian looked afterward to the hand he was still holding in Shen Ke's palm, and after freezing for a moment, he slowly took his hand back, enduring the heat that burned behind his ear and on the side of his face together, and said with barely any composure, "You're busy. ...... Well . . drive properly."

Then I heard Shen Ke laugh again, very softly.

It was only then that Babs, who had been aggravated to fire but stayed half a dozen times in the cold winter night, drove slowly forward.

When the car drove through a section of rough and bumpy unhardened country road and finally drove onto the national highway, Lin Jian looked at Shen Ke's hand, which was casually resting on the armrest box, and suddenly felt a slight itch on his fingertips.

So he ghosted out his hand and mentally said to himself, I'll just shake it.

But no sooner had his fingertips touched the back of that hand than Shen Ke once again backhanded it into his palm.

Fast, like he was always waiting too.

By the time we reached the territory of South City, it was really past midnight.

Lin Jian left early this day, experienced a series of high speed train taxi toss, in the middle of the road, fell asleep, and then opened his eyes, slowed down for two seconds, and saw the familiar city buildings outside the window of the car.

"There it is." He asked with a chaotic tone.

"There are still ten minutes left." Shen Ke had been driving all day, over ten hours of driving throughout the day, but there was no sign of fatigue on his face, "Wake up and drink some water, or you'll catch a cold if you get out of the car suddenly later."

Lin Jian obediently drew a bottle from the back, unscrewed it and drank two sips, and just as he was about to put the lid on, a thin white wrist appeared in his line of sight, Shen Ke was holding the steering wheel with one hand, and the other was stretched out toward him, the meaning obvious.

"Oh." Lin Jian immediately responded, "I'll get you another bottle."

Shen Ke raised an eyebrow slightly at that, and inclined her head to look at him.

Lin Jian's movement to turn back was fixed there, and after several seconds, he was sure that he had not misinterpreted his intentions, and after a moment's hesitation, he tensed his lips and handed over the water in his hand.

Shen Ke took it with a calm demeanor and drank half of the bottle with his head up.

At that moment, the words "mutual help" suddenly flashed through Lin Jian's mind.

Shen Ke finished his drink of water, still staring at the front glass in front of him, and casually handed the bottle back. Lin Jian's eyes dropped from his lips to his fingers that stretched out in front of him, took the bottle of water, screwed the cap back on, and then quickly tugged at his own ear with the bones of his middle and forefinger.

It's too hot.

When I finally got home, it was definitely past zero.

Lin Jian had spent the day traveling by car, and Shen Ke had spent the day driving, so when they stepped into the room, both of them had a slightly tired look under their eyes.

It was very quiet in the large villa, and Pee-wee, nestled in his sleeping mat in the center hall, was sleeping peacefully, when he heard a noise and looked up, and, seeing the visitor, went down again to take up his sleep in peace.

Since Shen Ke's leg had healed, the indoor elevator was once again unused, and the two of them went up the stairs one after the other. When they reached the corridor on the second floor, Shen Ke called out to the person in front of him who was a step ahead of him, "Lin Jian."

"Huh?" Lin Jian turned back, "What's wrong?"

Shen Ke paused briefly and said, "Hurry up and take a shower, then go to bed early."

"Oh, good." Lin Jian paused and nodded, "You too."

After saying this, Shen Ke still didn't move, and Lin Jian said suspiciously, "Anything else?"

Shen Ke sighed softly, the wall lamp's warm yellow orange-toned lampshade spilled down, appearing to make his eyebrows and eyes softer and softer, "Stay at home during this period of time before the year, don't go away, right, we'll spend the New Year together then."

It was solicitous, and Lin Jian froze for a moment before realizing what he meant, but instead of saying yes or no, her first reaction was to subconsciously ask, "Don't you work?"

Although the company's employees have already taken their annual vacation, Lin Jian knows Shen Ke very well, a man who works almost all year round, so vacation or no vacation seems to have little impact on him, and now Shen Zhangqian and his wife live abroad all year round, so he is even more fully immersed in his work, living like an ascetic monk with no worldly desires.

Hmmm no ...... maybe, could, should, or kinda?

Shen Ke heard Lin Jian asked this question know what he was thinking, he smiled, helpless towards him to take a step closer, slightly hanging his head to look at Lin Jian, said in a deep voice: "If it is only me, it is true that I will probably continue to busy work, but you went home, I'm a little ...... "The end of the voice dissipated in the bottom of the eyes of the laughter, Shen Ke tone slightly pause, did not continue to say.

And Lin Jian's heart once again without warning wildly jumped, he pursed the corner of his lips, pretending to calmly ask: "...... you just a little what?"

Shen Ke sighed very softly and had to smile as she confessed, "I just kind of didn't want to do anything but nestle in and stay home with you."

Sure enough--

Lin Jian thought that Shen Ke was actually very good at saying love words.

Or rather, he's very good at saying what he loves to hear.

"Okay." Lin Jian nodded his head, holding back the vibrations of his heart whose beating frequency was about to go into overdrive, and agreed seemingly carelessly, "Then I'll go back over to the apartment tomorrow and pack up a few clothes or something and bring them over here, and you-"

"No need." Shen Ke interrupted him softly, and then naturally took his hand, "It's all ready for you, come with me."

Lin Jian was first stunned, before he could react from the warmth that suddenly came from the back of his hand, he was led over to the second floor checkroom by Shen Ke, "...... No, what are you ready for?"

Shen Ke didn't answer, only took his hand and walked over to the second floor next to the sitting room, in the checkroom doorway, and pushed the door open.

Shen Ke's checkroom is very large, with seasonal clothes and everyday accessories such as ties and cufflinks organized in different functional sections, making it neat and clean.

Shen Ke led him into the room, and the sensor light turned on by itself as he passed by. Standing in front of a row of closets, Shen Ke gently pushed the door of the closet, and Lin Jian first looked inside, and then his pupils tightened slightly.

The inner space of this row of closets was divided equally into two areas, where only Shen Ke's regular clothes were originally hung, and now--

Spring, summer, fall, winter, complete sets inside and out, daily accessories, and even underwear and shoes and socks, all neatly tucked away where they should be by someone who cares.

Like a silent wait for the owner of these new clothes to return one day.

It was more like familiar pampering, as it had been every moment for so many years.

"You ......" Lin Jian The knots in his throat involuntarily slid a bit, looking at Shen Ke beside him in a daze, "When did you prepare these... ..."

"Not for long." Shen Ke smiled a little and said, "Just after the other night."

What day?

It was probably the night he first embraced Lin Jian behind his back.

This style of behavior is very much like Shen Ke's usual style, never move, but as long as he decided something, it will be in accordance with his own pace, a little bit of the whole completed.

Just like that night, he decided to be with Lin Jian, even if the next day Lin Jian hurried to leave, he will not deliberately retain, but will be in the place Lin Jian can not see, in the time he does not know, alone and silently for him to stay in advance to prepare for all the things here, just waiting for when he agreed, when he is willing to be able to settle down to enjoy his heart.

Shen Ke's giving is never warm and gentle.

The key thing is yes, such silent tenderness is simply impossible to resist.

"All the clothes have been labeled and those that should be dry-cleaned are ready to wear." Shen Ke smiled and said, "So don't toss it back, okay?"

"...... You this person, really love to worry." Lin Jian mouth is not, but stop for a few seconds, finally a deep sigh of relief, defeated to his clear and cold tenderness, nodded and said, "Good."

From the moment they entered the room, they had said to rest early, but it turned out that more than half an hour had passed since this delay, and the two of them returned from the checkroom to the bedroom door, Shen Ke only then let go of his hand and lifted her chin towards the bedroom, signaling, "Go on, it's really late."

"Good." Lin Jian answered lowly, raising his eyes to look at the person standing in the doorway of the other bedroom next door before he turned and lifted his feet.

Before he could step into the room, Lin Jian suddenly turned around and called out softly, "Wait a minute."

"What's wrong?" Shen Ke stood rooted to the spot.

Lin Jian stood by the door, behind him was the darkly lit bedroom that was not closed, in front of him was Shen Ke who stood tall and handsome in the shadow of the lamp, he could barely hold back the heat that roamed behind his ears for the unknown number of times, he bit his lip and hesitated for two seconds, and then suddenly, in a very soft voice, he asked, "...... Can you hold me again? Once?"

And then when he raised his head, he saw a smile emerging from the bottom of Shen Ke's deep eyes.

Lin Jian held his breath as he watched the person walking towards him, and the next second he was embraced in a warm and solid embrace.

Lin Jian closed his eyes slightly and waited for a few moments before raising his arm and wrapping it around Shen Ke's waist.

That's enough.

A hug is enough.

Shen Ke held him quietly for a while, and when they parted, Lin Jian's eyelashes fluttered--

There was a touch of warmth behind his ear.

It happened to be right on the small patch of skin that was burning and turning red from his nervous blush.

Shen Ke stepped back with a calm demeanor and said, "Go on, it's going to be dawn before we get any more."

After a pause, he added, "We have a long time ...... ahead of us."

Back in her room, Lin Jian leaned her back against the door until she heard the very soft sound of the door closing from next door, then she lowered her eyelashes and let out a soft breath.

It was only when he was left alone at night that the reality of being "with Shen Ke" became clear to him.

Like a dream you can't help but indulge in, he really is with Shen Ke.

Lin Jian leaned against the door panel, in a daze to slow down, and then this whole night pretend to be reserved appearance finally collapsed, good-looking corners of the mouth no matter how much effort, can not be completely suppressed.

It so happened that the cell phone in the coat pocket vibrated, Lin Jian took out the phone and scanned the screen, actually saw that it was Brianna's call.

"Hello." He answered as he walked through the doorway toward the bed.

"Lin Jian?" Brianna's Chinese was still not very skillful, but her meaning was clearly expressed, "How have you been? You sound like you're happy."

"Uh-huh." Lin Jian took off his coat with one hand and sat down on the small couch in the room to talk to Brianna, "It's nice."

"Can you tell me about it?" Brianna was curious, after all, she had counseled Lin Jian for many years before, and she remembered most of the youths as depressed and calm, rarely this emotionally vibrant.

"I ......" Lin Jian said softly after a pause, "I'm in love."

"......" Brianna's side was quiet for many seconds before she erupted into Lin Jian's ear with an excitement that a psychiatrist shouldn't be able to muster, "Woah woah woah! Really!"

"Really." Lin Jian smiled, "It's the guy I've always liked, and today he agreed to be with me."

"This is indeed unexpected good news!" Brianna told him, "So what, does it feel like you're in great shape now?"

"Yes." Lin Jian admitted generously, "I feel ...... never better."

"That's great!" Brianna first congratulated him in broken Chinese for getting what he wanted, and then followed her duty as a doctor and admonished, "If this state of relaxation and pleasure can be sustained, it will also be a great help to you in changing your prolonged insomnia."

"Possibly." Lin Jian leaned back on the couch and smiled, "I'm not going to lie, I'm so sleepy right now that I just want to go take a shower right now and fall into a deep sleep."

"It's really incredible." Brianna sighed, "It seems that love is indeed the medicine for you, so ...... if you can maintain your sleep well for some time in the future, then Kyu can reduce the dosage appropriately until you stop taking the medicine."

Lin Jian agreed, and the two chatted some more before getting ready to hang up.

Before ending the call, Brianna thoughtfully asked, "So, does it still feel like that incident is an unsettling thing in your psyche that even time can't erase?"

Lin Jian thought about it and said that it shouldn't be.

He had survived even the toughest times, and now, he had gotten more than he had expected.

Like just--

He originally just wanted a hug.

Shen Ke, on the other hand, gives him an extra kiss that doesn't go over the top.

In those past years of waiting, he always wished he could have been young all his life.

But the moment Shen Ke hugged and kissed him, he suddenly longed to grow old in an instant.

Any regrets that were once there can be mended.

He too can be healed and reborn by love.