Chapter 103: Xie Qingcheng You are responsible for me.

Overnight.

When He Yu woke up, it was already dawn.

He blinked and saw that Xie Qingcheng had gotten dressed and was sitting by the window smoking a cigarette.

The window is open a crack, the smoke flows out through your fingertips, and the morning sun streams in from outside.

Xie Qingcheng is not in good shape.

He's haggard, and no one can be tossed around all night by He Yu and not be haggard. Even though he's wearing a casual suit, there's the faintest hint of a hickey stain on his lapel.

And those lips, you could see the bite marks.

Xie Qingcheng looks very annoyed, the cigarette butts in the ashtray have piled up.

He didn't know when he woke up, and his sleep was much lighter than He Yu's. He had no idea when he woke up.

Hearing a rustling movement on the bed, Xie Qingcheng turned back, "...... is awake."

"...... hmmm."

On a morning like this, any number of relatively tender conversations could emerge between them.

Like, are you okay.

For example, would you like some breakfast.

Or at least, you could say, "Put your clothes on, it's cold in the winter.

But Xie Qingcheng was still for a moment, looking at the boy with whom he had been intimate too many times, and in the end he chose the calmest and most unfeeling sentence-

"Wake up and go."

He Yu froze.

He really didn't expect that Xie Qingcheng, who was like that with him last night, could say such cold words today.

He froze for a few moments before saying, "Last night ......"

"You weren't pushing me last night, it was my brain that was fuzzy and I didn't have control."

Xie Qingcheng seemed to have thought long and hard about how to face him, and his answer was swift and merciless, almost mechanical.

"I don't blame you, go away."

He Yu sat up, like a little dragon who had tried hard to please his master, but in the end was abandoned.

His hair was still a bit disheveled, sticking up there, his forehead still had scabbed blood, and his lips still had the wound from last night's bite by Xie Qingcheng.

Xie Qingcheng glanced at him and turned his gaze away.

The light of day outside the window cleansed him as if he didn't have half an inch of fresh air belonging to a human being.

Things were crazy last night, and the two of them looked like they were possessed, doing things on New Year's Eve that neither of them expected the other to do, and it's a bit unbelievable now that I look back on it.

The night was like a dream, two people in a dream, who were less real.

But perhaps too much heat had been consumed, and this wild, completely unplanned lovemaking had drained Xie Qingcheng of the last bit of human breath.

It was obvious that Xie Qingcheng regretted it.

He Yu looked at him silently, it would be a lie to say that he wasn't aggravated when the dragon cub that had worked so hard all night was thrown away at the drop of a hat.

But his pride refused to let him show any signs of aggravation.

He Yu finally sank his face as well and said softly, "...... You don't have to send me away in such a hurry. Any cowherd that is sent to the door shouldn't be treated like this."

Xie Qingcheng : "What is a cowherd?"

He Yu : "...... male prostitutes."

Xie Qingcheng : "...... Then you are not a male prostitute."

He Yu was silent with a stern face.

Xie Qingcheng sighed, put down the cell phone he had just smoked while occasionally glancing at it, and walked over to He Yu's bedside.

He Yu's afterglow sweeps over what he was just watching - a jellyfish video.

In the past, he only thought it was funny and wondered why Xie Qingcheng always had to watch this kind of thing. Now he realized that this video was a kind of psychological tranquilizer for Xie Qingcheng, similar to a conditioned reflex that was nurtured, and that those beings who had no brain and no heart but were still tenderly alive were the only comfort in Xie Qingcheng's tragic past.

He thus knew that Xie Qingcheng must have been very uncomfortable and mentally broken to be smoking a cigarette over and over again and watching this video.

Although Xie Qingcheng is voluntary.

Though Xie Qingcheng was annoyed by him, teased by him, and did it with him.

But he knew that Xie Qingcheng was remorseful afterwards. And not just any remorse.

As expected, Xie Qingcheng came over and the first thing he said to him was, "He Yu, we shouldn't go on like this."

He Yu doesn't say anything and sits in silence.

There are still scars on the teenager's back from Xie Qingcheng's uncontrolled scratching last night.

And the man who caught him said to him, we shouldn't go on like this.

He Yu was very resentful and sad.

He looked up and stared into Xie Qingcheng's eyes, silently questioning him.

Xie Qingcheng's response was to go and remain silent for a while, and then return to the drawer to get the medical kit, took gauze, iodine, cotton swabs, and little by little, silently treated and bandaged the wound on He Yu's forehead.

"Don't go out in the middle of the year seeing blood."

A cotton swab dipped in iodine and gently wiped over next to the wound's perimeter, the teenager not making a sound at all, letting Xie Qingcheng give him this little bit of aftercare.

The white cotton gauze was wrapped around his forehead, Xie Qingcheng's fingers paused on the rows of tape as it was secured, and finally took a child's band-aid with a cartoon dinosaur on it and stuck it on top of He Yu's forehead.

"Okay. Let's go."

"......"

"Xie Xue might be back in a little while."

"......"

"It's really not right for us to be like this. I was the one who was impulsive yesterday."

"......"

"He Yu."

He Yu finally spoke, he sat on the bed, tilted his head up, a little bit of messy hair falling in front of the gauze: "Xie Qingcheng, I'm so thirsty. And tired. I want to drink water."

Xie Qingcheng sighed, he can not help it, he this person thinking is this way, as long as he took the initiative to want, and other people give, he no matter their own in the end to eat or not to suffer, will feel is their own to pay something, after all, he is a big man.

So he went to pour water for He Yu.

Seeing that he was really willing to pour himself a drink, He Yu seemed to be in a slightly better mood, and while Xie Qingcheng was busy in front of the tea table, he was still probing his head, occasionally raising his hand to touch the corner of his forehead, as well as the cartoon band-aid on the corner of his forehead.

But when Xie Qingcheng came back with the water, as soon as he saw the cup, his face sank again.

Even heavier than before.

"Here. Drink."

Xie Qingcheng handed him a disposable cup.

He Yu stared at this Li Ruoqiu same type of paper cup, did not drink, mouth pursed tightly, turned his face away.

Xie Qingcheng didn't know where he was offending again, aunt-like upset, frowning, "Drink."

He Yu glared at him and suddenly snapped his hand up and knocked the cup off, spilling the warm water all over the floor.

Xie Qingcheng : "What are you doing!"

He Yu still glares at him, "What are you talking about me for!"

"How do I know what's going on with you?"

"Why can't you understand how I think?"

Xie Qingcheng simply speechless.

He didn't even know why he'd gone crazy and gotten himself into such a thing. When he poured water for Li Ruoqiu, Li Ruoqiu would say "Thank you, brother", and He Yu fucked him all night and had the nerve to knock over the cup he handed him!

"I'm telling you He Yu, go back when you've made enough of a scene, and pretend what happened last night didn't happen, I've said it many times, it was just an impulse ......"

"Then if I were a woman you would have gotten me pregnant on a whim like that last night!"

"......"

Xie Qingcheng Looking at his justified look, his head hurts.

No, given what they did yesterday, it's not He Yu who's going to get pregnant, is it? Why does he have a face?

But on second thought, He Yu saying "I should be pregnant" is better than him saying "You give me a baby" and "Brother, you give me a baby of my seed" like he did in bed last night. " Or "You should get pregnant" is less difficult to accept.

Xie Qingcheng gritted her teeth, "You are not a female. If you were a female I wouldn't have lost my head and be like this with you."

"Why wouldn't you be like that if I were a woman? Are you gay?"

Xie Qingcheng's face turned blue, "I'm not."

"And why are you?"

"......"

Xie Qingcheng did not want to bother with him any longer, he looked at the clock on the wall and said, "I can't tell you clearly, anyway, it just won't be. Let's not talk about this anymore, it's getting late, you should hurry up and leave, don't let Xie Xue come back and bump into you."

"Xie Qingcheng, you're a man and you're responsible, right?"

"I am responsible for you!" Xie Qingcheng was furious, "I tell you He Yu, there should be nothing between us. Last night's incident is the end of all this, there is no next time. Now you get up. You get up--"

He didn't finish his sentence.

He Yu then suddenly reached out and hugged him around the waist.

"I don't want to. I don't want to go back."

"I am alone in my family, I want to be here, Li Ruoqiu no place to go you still take her in, how can I not ......"

The teenager's forehead rested against his waist, grinding gently, his eyes very slightly stubbornly mad with some chaos and confusion.

As he rubbed against it, he seemed to feel the container in his heart overflow, filled with an emotion foreign to him, unnamed by him.

That emotion rose up and hurt him, his heart needed a medicine, and he instinctively felt that medicine was in Xie Qingcheng, that Xie Qingcheng's scent could be his palliative.

To keep his heart and mouth from being wracked with invisible knives.

He closed his eyes and hugged Xie Qingcheng for a while, and suddenly realized that Xie Qingcheng's body seemed to be trembling slightly.

When I touched it again, I actually felt a little hotter in terms of body temperature.

He Yu looked up from his waist, "Brother, you have a fever?"

"Why are you so hot on you ......"

"...... It's okay." Xie Qingcheng held his arm to remove his hand.

He Yu refused to let go. He stared at Xie Qingcheng for a while--

"Are you sure that that medicine that maintains your health, it works all the time? Otherwise how come your health is so bad, every now and then ......"

"Normal people who can't stand you tossing around like this." Xie Qingcheng said, "Loosen your hands."

He Yu but his frown deepened, "And your eyesight is getting worse ......"

Xie Qingcheng does not want to hear him say these things.

The mentality of avoiding medical treatment is not just something unusual people will have, in fact, as long as they are sick, they are not very willing to face the diagnosis that is full of problems.

Xie Qingcheng was more or less stung by his inquiry, and used more strength in his hands, violently pushing him away.

"He Yu, the drug can extend my life, but it doesn't mean that it can always continue my physical strength at its peak. I will always love my body, as long as you don't mess with me."

He Yu wordlessly shifted his eyes from his face to the ashtray by the windowsill behind him.

Too much soot has accumulated in there.

He stared at Xie Qingcheng, and didn't know where the deep resentment came from: "You call this, loving your body?"

"I wouldn't have smoked so much today if you hadn't bothered me."

"......"

"You go."

"......"

"I want to be alone and calm down for a while."

The feelings in He Yu's heart seemed to have suddenly grown into a huge beast with grinding teeth and sucking blood, and from little by little in his chest cavity, it became sharp fingers and claws, tearing his internal organs with force.

He Yu said, "No, I'm taking you to the hospital."

"I don't want to go to the fucking hospital!"

Here we go again! How many times a year do you have to go to the hospital? And all because of being screwed by a boy until his body couldn't take it!

"You're sick you don't go to the hospital how can you?" But He Yu asked and then felt not too sure, he is a young master after all, "...... Is the hospital open on the first day of the year?"

Xie Qingcheng looked at him as he tried to do something but didn't know what to do.

Suddenly it was quite exhausting.

After all, it's still a child.

He sighed lowly, "Here's the deal, He Yu."

"You go back first, I'll do some treatment myself." Meeting the boy's eyes, Xie Qingcheng lied, "And the hospital isn't open today."

"Then I'll put you in touch with my personal physician-"

"You want to make our relationship public, don't you?"

He Yu paused.

Xie Qingcheng took his cell phone, turned it off, and threw it at him.

"I'm asking you not to do that, if you really think of me as one of your kind. Save me some face."

He doesn't argue with He Yu anymore, but when he doesn't, he looks as if he's even more distant, as if he'll disappear in front of He Yu's eyes the next moment.

Even the soul has become pale.

He Yu found himself panicking.

Xie Qingcheng : "Go back. Count on me."

"But I-" He Yu whitened his face, "You shouldn't ......"

"There's nothing that shouldn't be. I'm an adult, thirteen years older than you, do you think I'm going to be able to take care of myself? I don't need you to teach me anything."

"......"

He Yu looked at Xie Qingcheng's pale, weak, indifferent, powerful, and distant appearance, and for a moment, he was actually engaged by the evil beast inside his chest to the point that he could barely even breathe.

What's wrong with him?

This is him ......

"Let's leave yesterday as it was."

"Why ...... Xie Qingcheng ...... why? Is it bad for us to be like that?"

"Not good."

"But why ......"

Xie Qingcheng was quiet for a moment, "Because I don't like you, and you don't really like me, He Yu. so that's just wrong."

"Didn't you say that men should be responsible? Then let me tell you that being responsible means that, from now on, we should only do things like this with people we like."

"To do otherwise is to torture each other."

Suddenly.

Everything is quiet.

"Like" is the word that comes to mind.

The behemoth in his chest devours the heart.

The heart stops beating suddenly. Nothing could be heard in my ears.

The last bit of color faded from He Yu's face.

He looked up sharply and stared intently into Xie Qingcheng's eyes. It was as if he suddenly had to understand something, as if he suddenly had to touch on some truth--

Love ......

--I don't like you, and you don't like me.

We should, from now on, only do things like this with people we like.

To do otherwise is to torture each other ......

The distant mountains seem to tremble, the earth shakes, He Yu's heart swallowed by the beast triggers a terrifying earthquake, his broken, sick heart becomes the source of the tremor, and the shock spreads throughout his body so great that even his fingertips are in jeopardy.

Like?

It was as if the beast had been majestically called by the god awakening in its heart, and the name was like a tight hoop that instantly tightened its flailing pang.

"Like."

The name circled over and over again in his beacon-wolfed mind, over and over again it had to be whispered in the ears of the monster, which narrowed its eyes in enjoyment and gave a low, inescapable answer to two words.

Yeah, it says.

That's what I'll call it.

That's the kind of feeling I get.

Do you understand ...... you ...... have finally called my name right and found the key to taming me in the midst of the earth's cracking mountains?

The behemoth slowly spat out the stagnant heart.

A few seconds later--

"Thud."

The blood-stained heart reemerged.

One by one, faster and faster, more and more urgent, apprehensive and crazy, became a drumbeat, shook his eyes red ......

He Yu's face was ugly and thorough.

In the midst of Xie Qingcheng's cross-examination, he suddenly noticed these behaviors that he had done instinctively, but had never thought deeply about the motivation.

It's all ......

It's all love and lust, wrapped around the finger.

It's all too entangled to let go of.

-- Could it be ......

Is it all because you like it?

He, he this is ...... like Xie Qingcheng?